Day 12

            With Thanksgiving being this month, a lot of people on Facebook, myself included, have been listing things daily that what we are thankful for. Today my Facebook is overflowing to our blog. Day 12: I am thankful for our little boy. Some of you may think I am being crazy for being so thankful for someone I have never met, but I am. I have never felt something so close to me before. Jeremiah 1:5 says “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” This I truly believe.  I know God has a plan for Adam and I. I know our little boy is out there, waiting on us. I am sure at times he asks God “Really? You’re sending me to those crazy people?” However, I know God has him ready for us. This is the first blog post that I have actually written myself. I think that Adam has done a great job with it, so I am going to screw it up for him by telling my side of things and how much God is working to bring my boy home. 

I have always thought about adoption, interracial adoption in particular. Even when I was little, I would ask my mom for an African American baby doll (which I got because she is awesome). After trying for two years to have a kiddo, things weren’t going so great. So off to the doctor we went. There I found out I had a fibroid tumor and some cysts. After leaving the doctor’s office, headed home, Adam and I discussed adoption. Turns out he had been thinking the same thing for quite a while. The next few weeks we talked and prayed about it more, thinking of where we would want to go, what kind of racial background we wanted, how old, and a million other questions. During this time I was also a little freaked out about what may happen with my health. After Adam and I decided that adoption was God’s path for us and went for my second ultrasound, I found out that everything was gone. No cysts, no tumor, just a miracle.

The next thing we did was start this wonderful blog and let out family know. I was very worried about how some people may take this news, especially since this is such a small town and we are going outside of our race. By God’s grace almost everyone has been amazingly excited/happy for us. People that I was nervous about the most (especially with the whole racial issue) see no problem at all.  But it wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. There was one in particular that was not as excited as most. This one has really bothered me and I am still struggling with it. When talking to this person, they seem to think that everything that could go wrong will. That we are not financially stable, our child will have health problems, be drug addicted, and (not to mention) black. And to this person being black in a small town might be the most terrible thing. I hate that they are so negative about this. It breaks my heart in so many ways but I think that this is just a test. God is testing our strength, willpower, and faithfulness. We need to trust Him and the path He’s put us on, and let Him deal with the negativity.

This past Saturday we had our first fundraiser selling concessions at an auction. On Friday we were supposed to meet a man at the fairgrounds to let us look at the kitchen so we could figure out what we needed. The man never showed up. However, there were two yard sales setting up and both were people we knew. We were able to let them know we were selling food, which I think helped us sell a lot more. After selling our food, we were able to go back and talk to the two ladies that were having the yard sales. They ended up donating all of their things that they had left over. The women that were with them, who we’d never met, donated their leftover items as well. We were able to completely pack my mother’s, Adam’s and my car, and even had to put a few things in Adam’s mother’s car. SO MUCH STUFF! What are the chances, that the day we work at an auction, not one, but two people we know are having yard sales at the same place on the same day!? With this many things, we think we will be able to have an extra yard sale to help raise money just because we have so much! On Saturday, when we were setting up, I felt like anything that could go wrong went wrong. We forgot a can opener, went home & got it, then it broke. We showed up late so the coffee wasn’t ready and people were getting upset, then when it was ready, it was too cold and weak. We forgot many things and had to make multiple trips to go get them. But after all the stress in the beginning, things calmed down and we had a very good day. We were able to raise over $400, and are that much closer to getting our little boy. God is good.

I keep saying my little boy, William (Will) David Brown because that’s who God is going to bless us with. Like I said earlier He knows us before he formed us. We may end up with a little girl, which is fine, but I can feel him. I know him. I tell Adam I miss him (and he actually doesn’t think I’m crazy…that I know of that is).  So far (I know we just started) we have met some amazing people and been blessed by so many. We were told that God will use our adoption to touch a lot of people and I have seen that already. The kindness and generosity of some people have been over whelming.  It is such an amazing thing to feel what you truly are meant for in your life; the moment when God says, “Yes, this is what I have planned for you”. So I just want to say “Thank You” to everyone who has supported us so far. And it’s only beginning.

Short and Sweet part 2

         This weekend we’ll have our first fundraiser at the Washington County Fairgrounds. We’re going to be selling food at an auction in the 4-H building beginning at 9AM. We spent last Friday night at Sam’s Club in Bloomington (which now is my 3^rd favorite place in Bloomington after Assembly Hall & Pizza Express) and filled the car with boxes of food. Don’t worry though, we kept it simple, just the stuff we know how to make. Hot dogs, Brownies, chips….keeping it simple. And while we can’t promise you a gourmet meal, we’d still love to have you stop by and see us there. We’ve also placed our first order for our t-shirts, and we’ll have an order form with us Saturday for anyone who is interested in getting in on the next batch of orders. We’re holding out hope that our first order will be in by Saturday so we can wear them and give you an idea of what they’ll look like. But in the event that we can’t model them for you, we’ll make sure we have a picture for you to check out. In short, things are starting to get moving, at least with our fundraising, and we couldn’t be more excited. Every day that goes by and every dollar we save gets us closer to bringing our child home. It’s an exciting and nerve-wracking time for us, but we appreciate all of the support each of you has given us.

Oh What a Weekend

         Like most things, our adoption journey has taken a little while to get off the ground. Like a train leaving the station, things have been moving pretty slowly, so we tend to get excited (sometimes too excited) when anything of any real consequence happens. This weekend got us very excited.

        On Saturday afternoon we went to Winchester, Kentucky and met with 2 wonderful ladies who run a ministry called “Choosing to Love”. We were put in touch with them through their pastor (Ashley’s step-brother), Brian Walton, and they agreed to meet with us Saturday at a coffee house downtown. We were excited all week about this meeting, but to be fair, by the time Saturday arrived, I was getting a little pessimistic. Maybe it’s just how my brain works, but I’m always thinking about what might go wrong. I was half expecting that we’d meet with them and they’d say, “Yeah, you guys shouldn’t adopt a kid” or “Seriously? You think you guys can afford this? Good luck with all that!” After all, we were close to Lexington, which as all good IU fans know is the heart of the evil empire.

      Anyway, we took off from Salem around lunch and made the drive into hostile territory. Ashley wore an IU shirt, which made me both proud and concerned for our safety. (Seriously though, an IU shirt right down the road from UK? She’s awesome.) When we got to the coffee house we found Kristy and got a table. Almost immediately our concerns were gone. Kristy was so open with us about sharing her family’s adoption story and talking to us about ours. When her associate, Christie arrived (yeah, I know, Christie and Kristy, it’s confusing to me too, but bear with me) she was equally open about her family’s experience. They were genuinely excited about us going through this process, which not only calmed our fears, but got us more excited. It was like we were having an adoption pep rally and Christie & Kristy were there to cheer us on.

     We stayed and talked with them for about an hour and a half, but we could have stayed there all day. They were so uplifting, more than we ever could have imagined, and so willing to help with anything we needed. On the ride home, we couldn’t even describe to each other how much this meeting exceeded our expectations. Finally, we were able to sum it all up in 3 words: They get it. These 2 women fully understand how important this is to us. They understand what it’s like to have God call you on this mission and to be willing to stop at nothing to see it through. I came away more convinced than ever that God finds ways, sometimes out of nowhere, to put His people in your life to provide you with guidance, wisdom, and courage when you need it. We found two strangers 100 miles away from home that treated us as friends and wanted to help us without anything in it for them. That doesn’t happen unless they are led by God.

     So that was our weekend. When thinking in terms of the marathon-like endurance race that is the adoption process, this wasn’t a huge event. But to us, it was monumental. It’s the same for us when people read this blog or ask us about how our adoption process is going, even though it’s just beginning. Those things are so encouraging to us because you’re taking an interest in our family. We appreciate all of your love, kind words, and prayers more than you will ever know. And someday soon, we’ll be able to introduce him to all of you who were so anxiously awaiting his homecoming.

(www.choosingtoloveadoptionministry.com)

P.S.-We’ve also finished the design for our t-shirts and are about to place our first order. If you want one, they’ll be $20, but please be patient. We’re placing these orders in bulk when possible to save money on printing, so it could take a little while. However, we’ll be placing our first order on Thursday, so if you get us your information and money before then, we’ll be able to get yours in about a week.
 
We are also selling silicon bracelets. They are $5 Blue with yellow writing that says Jeremiah 1:5

The shirts will actually be blue instead of yellow. The Front is the one that says WillPower and instead of being big on the front it will be a smaller logo in the upper left hand side of the shirt.

Oh those Hoosiers

Ashley and I were among the 17,000+ who were lucky enough to attend Hoosier Hysteria in Bloomington Saturday night. I say "lucky enough" because apparently there were about another few thousand who were turned away once Assembly Hall reached full capacity. But while we were there, something caught my eye and turned my mind toward our future child. Little, tiny, IU jerseys. They were everywhere! Little kids decked out in their jerseys with their favorite player's number and red & white striped pants were all over the place. And since we had to wait 3 hours outside in a line, we got to see all of them. There were some running around with basketballs. There were a few in the grass throwing footballs and frisbees. Some just sat in line with their parents and occaisionally whined about being bored or how cold they were. One group of kids caught my attention though. They were running up and down a small hill in front of Assembly Hall, which seemed normal enough, but when I looked over there again I saw one in a white IU jersey, with his red and white striped pants....sliding down the hill. My first thought was, "Grass stain! Mud! That's a white Cody Zeller jersey! Those pants will never come clean!" I realized that I've crossed a line. I've become one of the old people.

It doesn't seem like all that long ago that I would have noticed kids sliding down a hill and thought, "That looks like fun." But there has been a fundamental shift somewhere in my brain that makes me immediately think about how that jersey will never look white again, or how much those candy-striped pants cost their parents. As troubling as the fundamental shifting of my mind might be, I think it's a good thing. I look forward to being frustrated with my child for doing the ridiculous things like that that I'm sure he'll do. (by the way, using "he" because it's easier, "she" would be fine too.) I look forward to being frustrated with him because I look forward to having him around. As we get deeper into this process, even in the researching phase, we become more aware at just how difficult this process is going to be. But the more I see kids the way we did Saturday, outside having fun, spending time with their parents, the more I am convinced that what we are doing is the right thing. Yes, we will have to fight through all of the hurdles that come our way through this process, but we know that when we get our child home, it will be worth every minute of the struggle.

I can't wait to take our child out to things like what we went to Saturday. To take him to IU basketball games and teach him to count by 2's and 3's when players make a shot. To see him light up when he gets to see his favorite players in person for the first time. And to explain why we cheer everytime they show a picture on the screen of that guy with the red sweater and white hair (and clarify that it's not an angry Santa Claus).

So if any of you happen to be at an IU basketball game a few years from now and see a guy and little boy wearing matching candy-striped pants who stand everytime they play the fight song or the William Tell Overture and cheer loudest when Calbert Cheaney takes his seat on the bench, feel free to come say hi. Just ignore our grass-stained pants, because I'm a big softy and if he asks to roll down the hill a few times before the game....I might have to join him.

Short and Sweet

We have updates! Ok, they're minor updates, but updates nonetheless. First of all, last week we asked for your t-shirt ideas. This week we're asking you to get your t-shirts done...quickly. We're going to need all of your ideas by this Saturday, Oct. 20. I know that's not a lot of time, but we're hurrying you along for a good reason; it's all because.....WE HAVE OUR FIRST FUNDRAISING OPPORTUNITY! We'll have more details later on, but we're going to be selling concessions at an auction in Salem on Nov. 10. We know we're probably not going to make a million dollars, but we're so happy and thankful to have this first opportunity to raise some money. If anyone would like to come help us cook, serve food, or take money, we'd love to have you. If you can't do any of that, feel free to stop by and see us. I'm sure we'll have a variety of good food for you, plus you can check out the auction items and help out a good friend of ours.

Also, we've started talking to some fantastic people in Kentucky who work as adoption consultants in association with Calvary Christian Church. They've worked with people who have done adoptions both in the U.S. and overseas, and we think that they'll be able to give us some great advice on how we go through this process. Even though we aren't officially "starting the process" until the first of the year, it's so exciting for us to see things starting to move forward. While we know that the things we're doing now are only a drop in the bucket (or maybe the ocean), we know that each small step we take puts us one step closer to bringing our child home. Thanks for joining us on this ride.

(email your t-shirt ideas to adambrown47108@gmail.com or leave them in the commets section here)

GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!...Just Kidding :)

     Here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for. It's the time when we ask for your help. Come on, you all knew it was coming. From the time you read the first post on here, you thought, "That's great, but I bet they'll come to me with their hands out sooner or later." It's ok, because today is the day. Now, as we all know, adoption can be very expensive (as you all grip your wallets a little tighter), and a lot of people choose to do fundraisers to help with some of the cost (now you're thinking of your excuses to say no). So take a deep breath and listen to what we need from you. Ready? Here it is......we don't want your money. I mean, don't get me wrong, if you happen to have some cash sitting around that you don't need, we'll be glad to take it off your hands, but we're not asking for any money from anyone right now. What we want from you is your brain. And no, not in like a zombie/Hannibal Lecter way. We want you to help us be creative.

Later, sometime after the first of the year, we're going to start doing some fundraising events. Now exactly what those are and when they'll be is a little up in the air right now, but we'll keep you updated. However, one thing that we're going to do is make t-shirts. We'll be selling these shirts to anyone who wants one or wants to help us along this process, and we'll probably also be wearing them at any of our fundraising events. We aren't expecting to get rich from these shirts, but we felt like this was a good way for people who wanted to help to be involved.

Here's where you come in: design our shirts. Nothing is off the table. You pick the color, design, wording, whatever; the ball is in your court. We've gone through a few ideas ourselves, but for the sake of not influencing you one way or another, I'm not telling you what we've talked about. What we're looking for is something that could be worn by everyone (if you make a pink shirt with rainbows and kittens, I'm not wearing it), something that relates to our goals (a shirt saying IU basketball is awesome might be true, but has nothing to do with our mission), and is visually appealing.

There's also talk of a bracelet, like one of those livestrong things, so if you want to include bracelet ideas, that would be great too. Either way, you can send your ideas to my email (adambrown47108@gmail.com), to either of us on facebook, or leave them in the comments section below. We're looking for a lot of participation on this too, so share it with your creative friends and family members.

So there it is, go get to work on your idea. Work on 5 or 6 ideas if you want, there's no limit. We'll let everyone know when we have shirts made and how you can get one when that time comes, but for now, let's all just have some fun with this. The best t-shirt gets....well, nothing really. But maybe we'll let you hold our baby sometime when he's crying.

-Adam

The Dogfather

When considering adoption, having questions is a very normal thing, so I'm told. Do we want an open or closed adoption? Do we adopt domestically or international? What precautions can we take to ensure the child's health? All of these are things that any reasonable people would consider. Although I'm not so sure we fall into that "reasonable people" category, these are all things we've talked about at length. There's one question that keeps popping up in my head though, and I can't quite come up with an answer to it: Are you sure they'll let us raise a kid? It pops in my head every day. Every time I do something stupid or immature (multiple times a day), I think, "How could anyone with any sense allow me to raise a kid?"

The question was never more on my mind than it was this past week. To be honest, we already have 3 kids, they're just furry, have 4 legs, and tend not to talk much. They're usually pretty well-behaved, but in the last week they've combined to run away twice, rip the curtains & curtain rod off the living room wall, and shred every newspaper and magazine in the house leaving us to come home to more confetti on our floor than at the end of a political convention.

It all started last week when Charlie, our 4 year old retriever, decided that 6 am would be a good time to run away. Unless people come over, Charlie is as relaxed as you could expect a dog to be. Even when he's excited, he's sweet. I've always thought that, if we ever had a burglar, that Charlie would lick him to death before he'd ever attack him. But that morning, my sweet little boy decided to test the strength of his collar and sprint to the end of his rope, snapping the collar and sending him off into the darkness. I panicked. Gus, our other dog, panicked. Our cat, Moose...cool as a cucumber. Eventually Charlie returned and all was well, but I think the way I freaked out for those 20 minutes he was gone set the tone for our week. I upset the very delicate ecosystem that is our home and sent Gus (our 1 year old, ball of energy) into a chewing frenzy.

Moose has been the only calm one in the house this week, which makes me even more nervous. I get the feeling that this little kitten is secretly running the entire show, ordering his brothers around, then watching as they get the blame. It's like The Godfather meets Animal Planet. Moose is Michael Corleone giving orders and running the show. Gus is Sonny, the volatile older brother. And Charlie is Luca Brasi, the muscle of the family.

This is what worries me. If we can't handle 2 dogs and a cat, who in their right mind is going to give us a kid? Besides, we need this kid to even things up, we're outnumbered! I've been assured that our dogs chewing things up doesn't disqualify us from adopting or mean that we're going to be bad parents, it's just something that happens. I hope that's right. Just to be on the safe side though, I'm going to be extra nice to Moose from now on. I don't want to end up like Fredo.