Loose Screw

     I found a screw loose on a cabinet door the other day. Normally that’s no big deal, but around our house lately, this is a huge deal. This week we made some progress in that we finally got our paperwork sent off to our agency. This was a huge deal for us because after all of the time and effort spent trying to gather information and filling out forms, we were finally finished with this part. The celebration was short-lived though because we realized what came next. Our home study. Nothing has made us more paranoid than this home study mostly because we don’t know what to expect. I mean, are they just going to talk to us and look around the house a little bit? Or are they going through all our drawers and checking the fat content of items in our refrigerator? At this point, I wouldn’t be shocked if our case worker said she needed to get in the crawlspace under the house and start looking for termite damage.

      For the record, our house is fine. I mean, we’re not living in a mansion or anything, but everything seems normal, I suppose. But this home study has me worried beyond belief. Every time I see something that isn’t perfect, every time a door handle jiggles a little too much, a light flickers, or I see a loose screw, I automatically assume that we’re going to fail our home study and never get our kid. (And I’m sure some of you were already thinking I’ve had a few screws loose for years. I get it.)

     In reality, it will probably all be ok. The lady we’re working with from the adoption agency is great and I’m sure she’s not expecting perfection. After all, if they’re only letting perfect people have kids, then we’re all in trouble. I’m sure that all the worrying will be for nothing and that our home study will be fine. Until it’s finished though, we’ll have a few more weeks of being paranoid about everything. So consider this your warning, if you happen to come by our house in the next few weeks, compliment us on how great everything is. If not, be prepared for us to put you to work.

Blegh, Homework

     I have to be honest, I’m worried about this whole adoption thing. Not that I’m concerned about us having a kid or anything. That’s the great part. The part that worries me is what happens a few years from now. School. It scares me to death.

     Now, for the record, I finished elementary school, high school, and college. Graduated from them all and did pretty well, I guess, but that stuff was easy. When my kid goes to school, he’s going to be bringing home homework. And inevitably he’s going to have something he needs help with and who will he go to? One of us. My only hope is that I can find some excuse to leave the room and make Ashley help him. And I don’t care how flimsy of an excuse I can find, if I don’t know the answer, I’m getting out of there. Taking out the trash, walking the dog, moving to Canada…nothing is off the table.

    That seems like an odd thing to worry about, I’m sure, but I just did my first book report in over a decade and it nearly made my head explode. As a part of our adoption paperwork, we had to read a book and fill out a short questionnaire giving our thoughts on the book. Easy enough, right? Wrong. It was awful! I mean, we read the book, we discussed, and did everything the way we were supposed to, but when it came time to write about our thoughts on the book….nothing. Drawing a total blank. I mean, seriously, we make children do this at school?! What’s the matter with these teachers?! This is torture! Maybe it’s just because the last time I finished a book report, Bill Clinton was president, but it was almost painful. I’m fully expecting our agency to think that we paid some 4^th grader to write it for us.

     I’m sure we’re overreacting. I’m sure they’ll read it and think it was all ok, but either way, it’s got me worried. I think I can help our kid through addition and subtraction, but after that I’m in trouble. I guess this is something all parents have to deal with though, because once you stop doing some of that school work you get out of practice quick! Until we get our child home though, we’ll try to make sure we’re academically fit to raise a child. Just in case we’re not though, Ashley’s mom is a 3^rd grade teacher. It’s always good to have a built-in backup plan.

Adam's Fault

      Ok, so we messed up. Correction, I messed up. Not Ashley, just me. Totally my fault....although I'm still trying to shift the blame to her a little bit. We've done this blog since September and we've been posting things on here every Monday without fail...until this week. Christmas Eve? No problem, we wrote a blog. New Year's Eve? Please! We got that covered! But somehow this week, we got derailed. What huge event could have taken us off track this week? Adoption paperwork. It totally killed our Monday evening and by the time we looked up, it was time to go to bed. Sorry.
      On the bright side, we're almost done with the paperwork we have to do to get our home study started. We're hoping to get everything finished and sent in by the end of the week and then get ready for our home study. Although this is just the beginning of the process, we're pretty excited about getting this part done. Every step we take is a step closer to getting finished. 
       We're also excited about the progress we've made with our adoption fund. Between money we've saved and our fundraisers and donations, we have enough to cover our home study costs and a good percentage of the next round of fees that we'll have to pay. We're not all the way there yet, but the progress is great and we have a lot of you to thank for that. Your donations and support have been amazing and we can't thank you all enough.
      I was fortunate enough to be asked to speak at Orleans First Baptist Church the last 2 Sundays. We enjoy seeing everyone there and they've all been very supportive of our adoption process, as well as our fundraisers. At the end of the service, they unexpectedly gave us an envelope with an incredible donation to our adoption fund. (If anyone from the church is reading this, thank you all so much.) It wasn't something we expected, but maybe we should have. It seems like we've been blessed with support from unexpected places at unexpected times throughout this process. We know that God has guided us through this, but things like this are further affirmation that He is in control.
     Again, I'm sorry we didn't get the blog up on Monday. We'll try to get back to normal next week and hopefully we'll have some more news to share. Until then though, thanks for all you've done and for all you continue to do. We'll see you next Monday...unless Ashley screws it up again.

It's so TINY!!

       This week I discovered a new hobby. The bad part is, I think it will eventually drive me crazy. Earlier this week I found myself wandering through NBA.com. One of my favorite former Hoosiers, D.J. White, was signed by the Boston Celtics last week, so I started reading the Celtics website for information about the signing. The website had a link to the Celtics online store, so I thought, “Hey, let’s see if they’re selling D.J.’s jersey.” At the time, I thought, this would take 30 seconds, then I can get back to doing other things. Then it happened. On the Celtics site they had jerseys that could be personalized, like all the other team’s sites have, but at the bottom of the screen I noticed a little, tiny, infant Celtics jersey. That was it. I was hooked. First I decided I’d make a Celtics jersey with #33 (for Larry Bird) that said “Brown” on the back. It was awesome! Then I thought I should wander over to the Pacers team site and see what those would look like. A white Pacers jersey with “Brown #40” on the back was first. But after you do a white one, you have to do a gold one. Then, after you’ve done a gold one and a white one, it’s only reasonable to see what one looks like in blue, right? Right? Anybody?

    I’d like to say that I didn’t make tiny personalized jerseys of every former IU player also. Again, I’d like to say that…but I can’t. Baby jerseys of Eric Gordon, Alan Henderson, D.J. White, and (the greatest of all time!) Calbert Cheaney were all on the screen before I was done. I even went ahead and tried a few different teams for Cody Zeller and Victor Oladipo (just in case). Finally, I convinced myself that I needed to stop. I figured that it was a nice way to kill 10 minutes or so, but I was done. The bad part is that 10 minutes I wasted actually lasted closer to 45.

    I’m not sure why I got so engrossed in making baby basketball jerseys. I mean, sure, they were probably some of the cutest things I’ve ever seen, but why was I obsessing over them like that? I guess it’s because it got our child’s picture in my head. I mean, I could imagine taking him to basketball games and seeing people say, “Is that baby wearing a Steve Alford jersey? That’s awesome!” (Ok, maybe some people won’t care, but I’m sure it will turn the heads of a few IU fans.)

    Anytime things like this happen and I picture our child, I get more and more excited. I see kid’s stuff in a store or online and I think about whether we’d get something like that for our kid. We have conversations all the time about things we will or won’t do with our child. Everything from what he’ll wear to what we’ll watch on TV with him. And that’s why the little jerseys will drive me crazy. The waiting is hard enough, but the more I have to picture my child (and he’s a really cute kid, at least in my head), the more I think about having to wait. It’s brutal, but we don’t have any other choice. In the meantime, we’re trying to remember that we need to be patient and this will all work out not in our time, but in God’s time. It’s all in His hands, we can only hold up our end of things and let Him take care of the things we can’t.

     Patience is one of those things that’s easier said than done, but we’re working on it. By the end of this thing we’ll either lose our minds or be the most patient people you’ll ever meet. And maybe that’s God’s plan all along, to help us become more patient before we bring our child home. I suppose it is good practice. In the meantime, I think I’ll head over to nfl.com and see what kind of infant Colts jerseys we can buy. Obviously the whole patient thing hasn’t kicked in yet.

"Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object we're waiting for."