Happy New Year

       Trying to update this blog every week can be kind of a challenge. Last week that meant finding time to write a short update on Christmas Eve. This week it means updating it on New Year's Eve...no problem. But trying to write an update during an IU game? This might be a little difficult.
The start of the new year means the real start of our adoption process. Up until this point we've just done a few things here and there, but our goal was always to kick things into high gear in 2013.               
     We've started looking at agencies and very soon will be trying to schedule meetings with a few so we can find the one that works best for us. We've also scheduled our first fundraiser dinner for February 23 at Westview Christian Church in Campbellsburg. This will be a soup supper that will feature Brian Walton as our speaker, as well as some musical guests. We'll have more information on this in the next couple of weeks. Also on Friday, May 10 we will be having "Can My Yard Night" at our house where you can dump all your aluminum cans in our yard. So start saving those cans! We're looking forward to seeing how big of a mess you all can leave us....but not looking forward to the cleanup as much. We're also looking at a few more fundraisers to take place later in the summer and fall that we'll let you in on when the time comes.
      The biggest thing we're looking forward to though is bringing our child home. We know that this process sometimes can't get done in just one year, and that some adoptive parents have difficulties that force them to wait a lot longer. But bringing our child home isn't some sort of New Year's resolution that we've arbitrarily set. We ache for him daily to come home. We don't just want to get him home, we need to get him home and will do everything in our power to make that happen as soon as possible. It's our prayer that God guides us along this journey and keeps our focus on His will. And in our prayers we are also so grateful that each of you has chosen to take this journey with us. We hope that each of you has a wonderful new year.

Merry Christmas

      Like many of you, today has been a busy day for us, which is part of the reason why we didn't get on here until 10:30 on Christmas Eve. We started out this morning by going out for breakfast with mom, dad, Jenny, Tyler, Katie and Luke, all of whom lobbied for a mention in today's blog post. (There it was. That's all you get. Don't be greedy.) And after breakfast, and watching Katie stand up and sing "Jingle Bells" in the middle of Denny's, we came home to finish up Christmas preparations, watch Christmas movies and get ready for church this evening.
     But even while today was a little hectic at times, the day and this Christmas season as a whole has been amazing for us. It's our hope that by next Christmas our family will have grown, so this has been a season of hope for us. Each event and milestone has been marked by thoughts about how next year will be different. It's been an incredible joy. We've also been overwhelmed this year with the kindness and concern that so many of you have shown in this process. It seems like we're constantly asked about how this process is going or if there's anything we need. I've said it before, but you guys really are amazing.
     Hopefully by next Christmas this blog will be about our child's first Christmas at home. We look forward to sharing that with you. Until then though, we want to let each of you know how much we've enjoyed sharing this process with you so far. And from our family to yours, we want to wish each of you a very Merry Christmas.

12/14/2012

If you've read this blog regularly, you've no doubt noticed that Ashley and I refer to our son as if he's already here with us. We have a picture in our heads of what our son will look like and who he will be. That mental picture helps us get through difficult times, makes us smile, and helps us to stay focused on our goal. This week was the first time that that mental picture scared me to death.

I saw the news on my phone of another school shooting last Friday in a town I've never heard of and, as disgusted as I was, tried to ignore it. I knew it was bad, but at the time there wasn't much news coming in and I figured I'd check it later. But when I saw the ages and pictures of the children on TV, my heart stopped. The images of these children was far too reminiscent of that mental picture that I see each day. I could see this idea of "our son" in the pictures of how a child smiled, or in another one's eyes, and it floored me. I've struggled the last few days with this and with the question of why God would send us on this journey to get our child, only to have us watch helplessly as we send him out into a world where things like this happen.

As we hear more and more about this terrible act, it's evident to me that, while we continue to mourn the 20 children who were killed last week, we must turn to that child whose birth we celebrate next week. I believe that these 20 children are, at this moment, safe in the arms of a loving creator. At the memorial service Sunday night, the President quoted Matthew 19:14 where Jesus says, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." While we might never fully understand why this happened, we can rest in the knowledge that they are in the arms of the Lord today and that they are safe in their eternal home. While we celebrate next week the birth of our King, they will celebrate in His presence. And while we'll never be able to guarantee our child's safety, we can guarantee that he will always be loved and watched over by his Heavenly Father, even when his earthly parents have to let him go.

I pray that that little boy whose picture I see in my mind will know that. I pray that I will be a good enough parent to instill those values in him. But more than that I pray that, when my time comes and God sees fit to call me home, that my son will rest confident in the fact that I am with my Lord.

Fundraising News

    There’s a part of me that hesitates to get on this blog and say that things are happening. Somewhere in my mind I think that eventually this will become a “Boy Who Cried Wolf” situation. If you’re not familiar with that reference, then call your parents and demand to know why they never read to you as a child. After you’ve done that though, come back and finish reading this, because things really are happening!

      The biggest things happening this week are that we’ve set dates for 2 fundraisers. The first one will be a soup supper on February 23 at Westview Christian Church in Campbellsburg. While we’re still working out some of the details, here’s what I can tell you so far: there will be soup. Ok, I have a bit more information than that. This will be an “eat what you want, pay what you want” kind of thing, so if you have any rich friends, or people who just like to write huge checks for a bowl of soup, make sure you bring them with you. Brian Walton will also be speaking that night. If you don’t know Brian, he’s the senior pastor at Winchester, Kentucky’s Calvary Christian Church, Ashley’s step-brother (sort of….long story), and a generally awesome guy. You’ll like him. We’re still putting together times and getting a general feel on how things are going to go, so we’ll let you know more about this in the coming weeks.

       A soup supper is a normal, straightforward thing to do as a fundraising event. We hate normal. That’s why we’ve come up with our next fundraiser, “Can Our Yard Night.” How this works is pretty simple: you save aluminum cans up, wait until May 10, then come to our house and dump them in our yard. One of our friends called it, “vandalism with permission.” We’ll have an area in the side yard marked off (so we don’t get cans in the neighbor’s yard) and a spot for everyone to pull into the yard so nobody has to stop on the road, but other than that, you can toss the cans anywhere. We’ll have a lot more details on this one later, but we wanted to let everyone know so you can all start saving your cans. So start saving your cans and get prepared to trash our yard!

       So, in addition to getting ready for Christmas (only 15 more days!), this is what we’ve been working on this week. So go mark your calendars! We’re really looking forward to these events and hopefully you are too. They’re going to be a big step toward getting our child home, which is the most important thing, but it’s also going to be a great opportunity for us to get to spend time with all of you who have taken an interest in our adoption journey. We can’t wait to see all of you and thank you so much for all you’ve meant to us.

Locked Out

I can't fully explain the mood I was in Saturday except to say this, it wasn't good. I'm not sure what it was. It could have been that a stressful week at work was finally catching up to me, or maybe I just work up on the wrong side of the bed, but either way, by Saturday I was not feeling my best. Those of you who know me well will know that I generally have 2 settings; the times I think I'm the smartest person in the world, and the other times when I'm absolutely sure of it. By Saturday evening, I was absolutely sure I knew what I needed to get out of my bad mood. It was church. I knew that I could get to church on Sunday morning, God and I could have a little meeting, get me ready to start a new week, and do it all in less than an hour, (talk about efficient!) then have me home in time to watch the Colts. No problem.
Sunday morning I woke up early (like I always do), sat around the house for a few hours (like I always do), then got ready at the last minute (like I always do). We made it out the door with 2 minutes to spare which, at our house, is pretty impressive. As I shut the door behind me, I looked at the woman I live with who I'm related to by marriage and said, "So, you got the keys?" I was expecting an adoring look followed by, "Why of course, my darling, and here they are. Now let us drive away to our house of worship!" Instead I got a look that I could loosely translate as, "No, you dope! Why would I have the keys? Geez, I married an idiot!" Mercifully, she just said, "No." So there we were, on the porch with no keys to get into the house, no keys to drive the car and all doors and windows locked. Not how I pictured my day starting.
So for the next 30 minutes or so, through intermittent rain, I attempted to break in to my own house. With all my tools being locked inside the house, I was forced to improvise. I went to work with the head of an interchangeable screwdriver I found (no idea where the rest of it was), an extension cord that I used as a rope, and (the most technologically advanced tool of all) a stick. I should say though that I have a whole new appreciation for the security of our house, because not only was breaking in terribly difficult and time-consuming, our dogs freaked out at the thought of someone trying to get in.
After a half hour, much to my (and the dogs) relief, we were able to get inside. Instead of being stressed again though, the entire ordeal left me laughing all day. As much as I wanted to make it to church, I think that being locked out of the house is what I really needed to snap out of whatever bad mood was getting to me.
There are times that I try to compartmentalize God. To put a little spot on my schedule from 11-12 on Sunday mornings and make that His time. Yesterday was my reminder that all time is His time. Maybe you're not as bad as I am about this, but God needs to remind me sometimes that He is with me when I'm locked out of my house just as much as when I'm sitting in the pew at Syria Christian Church.
If you read this blog with any regularity, you know that we're working on a lot of things with this adoption. And for every one of you who has picked us up with your help, kind words, and prayers (all of which are amazing, by the way), there have also been times where we are discouraged and feel like any progress we've made is nothing but a drop in the bucket. In times like these, it's been helpful for us to remember that God is in control, that He has our child and our child will come home to us in God's time, not ours. As always, we know our child exists and is with God awaiting his homecoming. Although on days like yesterday, it's hard not to imagine our child saying, "Lord, why is my dad trying to break into the house with a stick?"
Have a great week.

-Adam

Just a little something

It’s time for me to share with all of you a condition I’m suffering with. I have a Christmas problem. There’s no other way of saying it really. Just looking at the calendar and seeing that it’s 4 weeks away made my heart beat a little faster. I really love Christmas. As soon as Thanksgiving ends, my mind goes directly to Christmas. I spend a good 30% of most days thinking about Christmas stuff. Add that to the time I waste thinking about IU basketball, and it will be surprising if I get anything else done this month.

But our adoption process has had a big impact on how we view our Christmas this year. We’ve planned since the beginning of this process to start talking to agencies and making real progress after the first of the year, so by next Christmas we might have our child home. It’s odd to think that this could be the last Christmas with just the two of us, but the idea of our adoption process really kicking into high gear has us very excited. It’s like we have this amazing Christmas gift that isn’t under the tree and can’t be opened yet, but will arrive several months later and will change everything. And, although the wait can be excruciating at times, we couldn’t be happier about the gift that is on its way.

As we get ready for the excitement of Christmas and the excitement of our adoption process, we’re also working on other projects that are keeping us busy. We still have our “Jeremiah 1:5” bracelets available for $5 each, as well as our t-shirts for $20 (see picture below). If you’re interested in either, let us know either on here, facebook, or email (adambrown47108@gmail.com) and we’ll get it taken care of for you. We’ll be putting in another t-shirt order soon and they should take around a week to get finished, so make sure we get all of your contact info so we can get it to you. Thanks again to everyone who has been so supportive of our mission already. You guys are amazing.

There are also a few other fundraiser things we’re working on that we will (hopefully) have details on soon. We have some ideas that, if everything works out, could go a long way toward helping with our adoption costs. We’ll let all of you know what’s going on once we get our next fundraiser finalized, so just keep checking here and we’ll keep posting updates on Monday nights. Everyone have a great week and, as always, thanks for reading.

-Adam

 

And thank you Stacia for being our model :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

This week has been exciting for us. While we aren’t starting the actual adoption process until after the first of the year, we’ve been working on fundraiser projects and ideas for a little while now, and this week we were able to see some progress. One of the things we’re doing is selling bracelets. They’re blue with yellow writing of “Jeremiah 1:5” on them and we’re selling them for $5 each. We’ve been fortunate enough to sell several of them so far and in less than a week have already made a profit. We’re really amazed that so many of you have chosen to help in this way. If you don’t have a bracelet yet, just let either Ashley or myself know and we’ll make sure we get you one.

There’s another project we’ve been working on this week and, while it’s not necessarily a fundraiser, it’s something that is very exciting to both of us. When we first started we realized that we wanted to have a way to recognize all of you who have helped us along this journey. We were able to find a picture online of a tree and, thanks to Ashley’s talented sister Stacia, we were able to get it painted onto canvas (see attached picture). Our goal is to get the thumbprint of everyone who has helped us on the tree in different colors. Then each person will sign their “leaf” and, eventually, we’ll have a tree full of names and thumbprints. We want to keep this picture in our child’s room so he can see someday all of the people who helped bring him home.

The whole part of fundraising can be kind of difficult. It’s not an easy thing to ask your friends and family to buy something from you. You don’t want to guilt them into it, but you also don’t want to leave them out and make them feel like you don’t want them involved. It’s a delicate balance that I’m not sure we’ve figured out yet, or ever will. I also understand why people might not want to be involved. I can understand why people might say, “Hey, your adoption is your choice. If you can’t pay for it, don’t do it.” That’s a totally valid point. The only thing I can say to that is this; you aren’t buying us a kid, together we’re helping to save a child’s life. It’s estimated that there are between 143-210 million orphans in the world today. This is a huge problem on a global scale that can only be addressed by each of us taking part in whatever way we are able. There’s a John Wesley quote I like that says, “Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.” The challenge to each of us is the same. What is the good that I can do? For us this means taking a child into our home. For you it might mean volunteering or donating to a charity that works with orphans or foster children. And, for some of you, it might even mean helping us along in this adoption process.  We can all do some good, somewhere, for someone. None of us can solve the problems of 210 million orphans, but we can make the difference in the life of one. And to the one you help, it will truly be a life-changing experience.

We hope that we don’t make you feel awkward if we ask you if you want a bracelet or a t-shirt (which should be done soon!), but if you do choose to buy one, we want you to know that we’re so thankful that this is the good you’ve chosen to do. In this week especially, as we consider all the things for which we are thankful, we put those of you who have helped in this process near the top of our list. Your guidance, advice, prayers, gifts, and friendship are things that we grow more and more thankful for by the day. From our family to all of yours, may you have a very happy Thanksgiving.

Day 12

            With Thanksgiving being this month, a lot of people on Facebook, myself included, have been listing things daily that what we are thankful for. Today my Facebook is overflowing to our blog. Day 12: I am thankful for our little boy. Some of you may think I am being crazy for being so thankful for someone I have never met, but I am. I have never felt something so close to me before. Jeremiah 1:5 says “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” This I truly believe.  I know God has a plan for Adam and I. I know our little boy is out there, waiting on us. I am sure at times he asks God “Really? You’re sending me to those crazy people?” However, I know God has him ready for us. This is the first blog post that I have actually written myself. I think that Adam has done a great job with it, so I am going to screw it up for him by telling my side of things and how much God is working to bring my boy home. 

I have always thought about adoption, interracial adoption in particular. Even when I was little, I would ask my mom for an African American baby doll (which I got because she is awesome). After trying for two years to have a kiddo, things weren’t going so great. So off to the doctor we went. There I found out I had a fibroid tumor and some cysts. After leaving the doctor’s office, headed home, Adam and I discussed adoption. Turns out he had been thinking the same thing for quite a while. The next few weeks we talked and prayed about it more, thinking of where we would want to go, what kind of racial background we wanted, how old, and a million other questions. During this time I was also a little freaked out about what may happen with my health. After Adam and I decided that adoption was God’s path for us and went for my second ultrasound, I found out that everything was gone. No cysts, no tumor, just a miracle.

The next thing we did was start this wonderful blog and let out family know. I was very worried about how some people may take this news, especially since this is such a small town and we are going outside of our race. By God’s grace almost everyone has been amazingly excited/happy for us. People that I was nervous about the most (especially with the whole racial issue) see no problem at all.  But it wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. There was one in particular that was not as excited as most. This one has really bothered me and I am still struggling with it. When talking to this person, they seem to think that everything that could go wrong will. That we are not financially stable, our child will have health problems, be drug addicted, and (not to mention) black. And to this person being black in a small town might be the most terrible thing. I hate that they are so negative about this. It breaks my heart in so many ways but I think that this is just a test. God is testing our strength, willpower, and faithfulness. We need to trust Him and the path He’s put us on, and let Him deal with the negativity.

This past Saturday we had our first fundraiser selling concessions at an auction. On Friday we were supposed to meet a man at the fairgrounds to let us look at the kitchen so we could figure out what we needed. The man never showed up. However, there were two yard sales setting up and both were people we knew. We were able to let them know we were selling food, which I think helped us sell a lot more. After selling our food, we were able to go back and talk to the two ladies that were having the yard sales. They ended up donating all of their things that they had left over. The women that were with them, who we’d never met, donated their leftover items as well. We were able to completely pack my mother’s, Adam’s and my car, and even had to put a few things in Adam’s mother’s car. SO MUCH STUFF! What are the chances, that the day we work at an auction, not one, but two people we know are having yard sales at the same place on the same day!? With this many things, we think we will be able to have an extra yard sale to help raise money just because we have so much! On Saturday, when we were setting up, I felt like anything that could go wrong went wrong. We forgot a can opener, went home & got it, then it broke. We showed up late so the coffee wasn’t ready and people were getting upset, then when it was ready, it was too cold and weak. We forgot many things and had to make multiple trips to go get them. But after all the stress in the beginning, things calmed down and we had a very good day. We were able to raise over $400, and are that much closer to getting our little boy. God is good.

I keep saying my little boy, William (Will) David Brown because that’s who God is going to bless us with. Like I said earlier He knows us before he formed us. We may end up with a little girl, which is fine, but I can feel him. I know him. I tell Adam I miss him (and he actually doesn’t think I’m crazy…that I know of that is).  So far (I know we just started) we have met some amazing people and been blessed by so many. We were told that God will use our adoption to touch a lot of people and I have seen that already. The kindness and generosity of some people have been over whelming.  It is such an amazing thing to feel what you truly are meant for in your life; the moment when God says, “Yes, this is what I have planned for you”. So I just want to say “Thank You” to everyone who has supported us so far. And it’s only beginning.

Short and Sweet part 2

         This weekend we’ll have our first fundraiser at the Washington County Fairgrounds. We’re going to be selling food at an auction in the 4-H building beginning at 9AM. We spent last Friday night at Sam’s Club in Bloomington (which now is my 3^rd favorite place in Bloomington after Assembly Hall & Pizza Express) and filled the car with boxes of food. Don’t worry though, we kept it simple, just the stuff we know how to make. Hot dogs, Brownies, chips….keeping it simple. And while we can’t promise you a gourmet meal, we’d still love to have you stop by and see us there. We’ve also placed our first order for our t-shirts, and we’ll have an order form with us Saturday for anyone who is interested in getting in on the next batch of orders. We’re holding out hope that our first order will be in by Saturday so we can wear them and give you an idea of what they’ll look like. But in the event that we can’t model them for you, we’ll make sure we have a picture for you to check out. In short, things are starting to get moving, at least with our fundraising, and we couldn’t be more excited. Every day that goes by and every dollar we save gets us closer to bringing our child home. It’s an exciting and nerve-wracking time for us, but we appreciate all of the support each of you has given us.

Oh What a Weekend

         Like most things, our adoption journey has taken a little while to get off the ground. Like a train leaving the station, things have been moving pretty slowly, so we tend to get excited (sometimes too excited) when anything of any real consequence happens. This weekend got us very excited.

        On Saturday afternoon we went to Winchester, Kentucky and met with 2 wonderful ladies who run a ministry called “Choosing to Love”. We were put in touch with them through their pastor (Ashley’s step-brother), Brian Walton, and they agreed to meet with us Saturday at a coffee house downtown. We were excited all week about this meeting, but to be fair, by the time Saturday arrived, I was getting a little pessimistic. Maybe it’s just how my brain works, but I’m always thinking about what might go wrong. I was half expecting that we’d meet with them and they’d say, “Yeah, you guys shouldn’t adopt a kid” or “Seriously? You think you guys can afford this? Good luck with all that!” After all, we were close to Lexington, which as all good IU fans know is the heart of the evil empire.

      Anyway, we took off from Salem around lunch and made the drive into hostile territory. Ashley wore an IU shirt, which made me both proud and concerned for our safety. (Seriously though, an IU shirt right down the road from UK? She’s awesome.) When we got to the coffee house we found Kristy and got a table. Almost immediately our concerns were gone. Kristy was so open with us about sharing her family’s adoption story and talking to us about ours. When her associate, Christie arrived (yeah, I know, Christie and Kristy, it’s confusing to me too, but bear with me) she was equally open about her family’s experience. They were genuinely excited about us going through this process, which not only calmed our fears, but got us more excited. It was like we were having an adoption pep rally and Christie & Kristy were there to cheer us on.

     We stayed and talked with them for about an hour and a half, but we could have stayed there all day. They were so uplifting, more than we ever could have imagined, and so willing to help with anything we needed. On the ride home, we couldn’t even describe to each other how much this meeting exceeded our expectations. Finally, we were able to sum it all up in 3 words: They get it. These 2 women fully understand how important this is to us. They understand what it’s like to have God call you on this mission and to be willing to stop at nothing to see it through. I came away more convinced than ever that God finds ways, sometimes out of nowhere, to put His people in your life to provide you with guidance, wisdom, and courage when you need it. We found two strangers 100 miles away from home that treated us as friends and wanted to help us without anything in it for them. That doesn’t happen unless they are led by God.

     So that was our weekend. When thinking in terms of the marathon-like endurance race that is the adoption process, this wasn’t a huge event. But to us, it was monumental. It’s the same for us when people read this blog or ask us about how our adoption process is going, even though it’s just beginning. Those things are so encouraging to us because you’re taking an interest in our family. We appreciate all of your love, kind words, and prayers more than you will ever know. And someday soon, we’ll be able to introduce him to all of you who were so anxiously awaiting his homecoming.

(www.choosingtoloveadoptionministry.com)

P.S.-We’ve also finished the design for our t-shirts and are about to place our first order. If you want one, they’ll be $20, but please be patient. We’re placing these orders in bulk when possible to save money on printing, so it could take a little while. However, we’ll be placing our first order on Thursday, so if you get us your information and money before then, we’ll be able to get yours in about a week.
 
We are also selling silicon bracelets. They are $5 Blue with yellow writing that says Jeremiah 1:5

The shirts will actually be blue instead of yellow. The Front is the one that says WillPower and instead of being big on the front it will be a smaller logo in the upper left hand side of the shirt.

Oh those Hoosiers

Ashley and I were among the 17,000+ who were lucky enough to attend Hoosier Hysteria in Bloomington Saturday night. I say "lucky enough" because apparently there were about another few thousand who were turned away once Assembly Hall reached full capacity. But while we were there, something caught my eye and turned my mind toward our future child. Little, tiny, IU jerseys. They were everywhere! Little kids decked out in their jerseys with their favorite player's number and red & white striped pants were all over the place. And since we had to wait 3 hours outside in a line, we got to see all of them. There were some running around with basketballs. There were a few in the grass throwing footballs and frisbees. Some just sat in line with their parents and occaisionally whined about being bored or how cold they were. One group of kids caught my attention though. They were running up and down a small hill in front of Assembly Hall, which seemed normal enough, but when I looked over there again I saw one in a white IU jersey, with his red and white striped pants....sliding down the hill. My first thought was, "Grass stain! Mud! That's a white Cody Zeller jersey! Those pants will never come clean!" I realized that I've crossed a line. I've become one of the old people.

It doesn't seem like all that long ago that I would have noticed kids sliding down a hill and thought, "That looks like fun." But there has been a fundamental shift somewhere in my brain that makes me immediately think about how that jersey will never look white again, or how much those candy-striped pants cost their parents. As troubling as the fundamental shifting of my mind might be, I think it's a good thing. I look forward to being frustrated with my child for doing the ridiculous things like that that I'm sure he'll do. (by the way, using "he" because it's easier, "she" would be fine too.) I look forward to being frustrated with him because I look forward to having him around. As we get deeper into this process, even in the researching phase, we become more aware at just how difficult this process is going to be. But the more I see kids the way we did Saturday, outside having fun, spending time with their parents, the more I am convinced that what we are doing is the right thing. Yes, we will have to fight through all of the hurdles that come our way through this process, but we know that when we get our child home, it will be worth every minute of the struggle.

I can't wait to take our child out to things like what we went to Saturday. To take him to IU basketball games and teach him to count by 2's and 3's when players make a shot. To see him light up when he gets to see his favorite players in person for the first time. And to explain why we cheer everytime they show a picture on the screen of that guy with the red sweater and white hair (and clarify that it's not an angry Santa Claus).

So if any of you happen to be at an IU basketball game a few years from now and see a guy and little boy wearing matching candy-striped pants who stand everytime they play the fight song or the William Tell Overture and cheer loudest when Calbert Cheaney takes his seat on the bench, feel free to come say hi. Just ignore our grass-stained pants, because I'm a big softy and if he asks to roll down the hill a few times before the game....I might have to join him.

Short and Sweet

We have updates! Ok, they're minor updates, but updates nonetheless. First of all, last week we asked for your t-shirt ideas. This week we're asking you to get your t-shirts done...quickly. We're going to need all of your ideas by this Saturday, Oct. 20. I know that's not a lot of time, but we're hurrying you along for a good reason; it's all because.....WE HAVE OUR FIRST FUNDRAISING OPPORTUNITY! We'll have more details later on, but we're going to be selling concessions at an auction in Salem on Nov. 10. We know we're probably not going to make a million dollars, but we're so happy and thankful to have this first opportunity to raise some money. If anyone would like to come help us cook, serve food, or take money, we'd love to have you. If you can't do any of that, feel free to stop by and see us. I'm sure we'll have a variety of good food for you, plus you can check out the auction items and help out a good friend of ours.

Also, we've started talking to some fantastic people in Kentucky who work as adoption consultants in association with Calvary Christian Church. They've worked with people who have done adoptions both in the U.S. and overseas, and we think that they'll be able to give us some great advice on how we go through this process. Even though we aren't officially "starting the process" until the first of the year, it's so exciting for us to see things starting to move forward. While we know that the things we're doing now are only a drop in the bucket (or maybe the ocean), we know that each small step we take puts us one step closer to bringing our child home. Thanks for joining us on this ride.

(email your t-shirt ideas to adambrown47108@gmail.com or leave them in the commets section here)

GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!...Just Kidding :)

     Here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for. It's the time when we ask for your help. Come on, you all knew it was coming. From the time you read the first post on here, you thought, "That's great, but I bet they'll come to me with their hands out sooner or later." It's ok, because today is the day. Now, as we all know, adoption can be very expensive (as you all grip your wallets a little tighter), and a lot of people choose to do fundraisers to help with some of the cost (now you're thinking of your excuses to say no). So take a deep breath and listen to what we need from you. Ready? Here it is......we don't want your money. I mean, don't get me wrong, if you happen to have some cash sitting around that you don't need, we'll be glad to take it off your hands, but we're not asking for any money from anyone right now. What we want from you is your brain. And no, not in like a zombie/Hannibal Lecter way. We want you to help us be creative.

Later, sometime after the first of the year, we're going to start doing some fundraising events. Now exactly what those are and when they'll be is a little up in the air right now, but we'll keep you updated. However, one thing that we're going to do is make t-shirts. We'll be selling these shirts to anyone who wants one or wants to help us along this process, and we'll probably also be wearing them at any of our fundraising events. We aren't expecting to get rich from these shirts, but we felt like this was a good way for people who wanted to help to be involved.

Here's where you come in: design our shirts. Nothing is off the table. You pick the color, design, wording, whatever; the ball is in your court. We've gone through a few ideas ourselves, but for the sake of not influencing you one way or another, I'm not telling you what we've talked about. What we're looking for is something that could be worn by everyone (if you make a pink shirt with rainbows and kittens, I'm not wearing it), something that relates to our goals (a shirt saying IU basketball is awesome might be true, but has nothing to do with our mission), and is visually appealing.

There's also talk of a bracelet, like one of those livestrong things, so if you want to include bracelet ideas, that would be great too. Either way, you can send your ideas to my email (adambrown47108@gmail.com), to either of us on facebook, or leave them in the comments section below. We're looking for a lot of participation on this too, so share it with your creative friends and family members.

So there it is, go get to work on your idea. Work on 5 or 6 ideas if you want, there's no limit. We'll let everyone know when we have shirts made and how you can get one when that time comes, but for now, let's all just have some fun with this. The best t-shirt gets....well, nothing really. But maybe we'll let you hold our baby sometime when he's crying.

-Adam

The Dogfather

When considering adoption, having questions is a very normal thing, so I'm told. Do we want an open or closed adoption? Do we adopt domestically or international? What precautions can we take to ensure the child's health? All of these are things that any reasonable people would consider. Although I'm not so sure we fall into that "reasonable people" category, these are all things we've talked about at length. There's one question that keeps popping up in my head though, and I can't quite come up with an answer to it: Are you sure they'll let us raise a kid? It pops in my head every day. Every time I do something stupid or immature (multiple times a day), I think, "How could anyone with any sense allow me to raise a kid?"

The question was never more on my mind than it was this past week. To be honest, we already have 3 kids, they're just furry, have 4 legs, and tend not to talk much. They're usually pretty well-behaved, but in the last week they've combined to run away twice, rip the curtains & curtain rod off the living room wall, and shred every newspaper and magazine in the house leaving us to come home to more confetti on our floor than at the end of a political convention.

It all started last week when Charlie, our 4 year old retriever, decided that 6 am would be a good time to run away. Unless people come over, Charlie is as relaxed as you could expect a dog to be. Even when he's excited, he's sweet. I've always thought that, if we ever had a burglar, that Charlie would lick him to death before he'd ever attack him. But that morning, my sweet little boy decided to test the strength of his collar and sprint to the end of his rope, snapping the collar and sending him off into the darkness. I panicked. Gus, our other dog, panicked. Our cat, Moose...cool as a cucumber. Eventually Charlie returned and all was well, but I think the way I freaked out for those 20 minutes he was gone set the tone for our week. I upset the very delicate ecosystem that is our home and sent Gus (our 1 year old, ball of energy) into a chewing frenzy.

Moose has been the only calm one in the house this week, which makes me even more nervous. I get the feeling that this little kitten is secretly running the entire show, ordering his brothers around, then watching as they get the blame. It's like The Godfather meets Animal Planet. Moose is Michael Corleone giving orders and running the show. Gus is Sonny, the volatile older brother. And Charlie is Luca Brasi, the muscle of the family.

This is what worries me. If we can't handle 2 dogs and a cat, who in their right mind is going to give us a kid? Besides, we need this kid to even things up, we're outnumbered! I've been assured that our dogs chewing things up doesn't disqualify us from adopting or mean that we're going to be bad parents, it's just something that happens. I hope that's right. Just to be on the safe side though, I'm going to be extra nice to Moose from now on. I don't want to end up like Fredo.

MLJ Adoption Conference

On Sept 15, Ashley and I had the opportunity to travel to Indianapolis for the Crossroads of America Adoption Conference. The conference, hosted by MLJ Adoptions (www.mljadoptions.com), had various sessions that dealt with all aspects of adoption, as well as sessions on the different countries that MLJ works with for international adoptions. We were a little concerned that, being very new to this process, we would be a little out of place there. To be honest, our first 30 minutes there didn't really assuage those fears. We sat in the back table of a large hall and watched as everyone who came in sat somewhere else. It was to the point that Ashley asked me if we were the "smelly kids"  or something. We were starting to feel as out of place as Jed Clampett driving through Beverly Hills for the first time, but we were eventually joined by 2 other couples who came in together. Eventually they introduced themselves, and told us how they were both MLJ clients. They asked where we were in the process and were very encouraging to us about the adoption process, making us feel less Clampett-like with each passing minute.
After the opening remarks, it was off to our first session. The presenter was Julie Gumm, author of the book "Adopt without Debt". We've heard Julie before on The Dave Ramsey Show, and were excited to hear her ideas. She didn't disappoint. There were fundraiser ideas we'd never thought of and grants that we didn't know existed. We each took a full page of notes and were beginning to wonder if our pen would survive all day. Julie is an outstanding resource for anyone considering adoption. You can read her work at www.adoptionwithoutdebt.com and follow her on twitter @JulieGumm.
While that was our favorite session of the day, there were many outstanding speakers. A panel discussion we attended on fathers in adoption was particularly beneficial and featured one of the gentlemen who sat at our table and encouraged us earlier in the day. This conference really offered us everything we were hoping for. Everything from a session on childhood nutrition to a panel with some adult adoptees was covered in the afternoon, along with several breakout sessions dealing with specific adoptive countries.

At the end of the day our heads were spinning, we were exhausted, and we were more inspired than ever to get to this process moving. (Which is probably why Ashley decided to announce our adoption plans via facebook as soon as we got back to the hotel.) I was blown away by the service provided by MLJ in their role as host of this conference. Their entire staff was courteous and helpful from the time we registered online a month ago until we left the conference that evening. If any of you ever consider international adoption, call them first. Other than lunch, (too fancy. Couldn't they just get some White Castles?) the day couldn't have gone any better.
In addition to learning more about this process, we were able to meet and talk to people who were in all stages of adoption. We were able to meet people like us, who were just at the beginning all the way through people who were attending the conference with their new children. It was a constant reminder that day of the journey that we are about to take, how this process defines families, and how, in the end, it will all be worth it.

-Adam

Just the Beginning

Why would two people whose idea of an exciting Friday night is to call in an order to El Toro, rent a redbox movie, and stay up past 9:30 write a blog? I mean, seriously, who is that bored that they would read what we had to say? These are the first two things that popped into my head when Ashley said, "Hey, we need to write a blog." If you're wondering the same thing, I should tell you first what this blog is about and what it's not. This is not about our day to day life. Trust me, nobody would want to read that. This is our effort to keep everyone updated on this incredible/frustrating/rewarding/stress-filled journey that will be the adoption of our first child. This will also be our way of showing our future child how much he was loved and wanted by so many and for so long before he ever physically joined our lives. As we go through the process of adopting him, we also adopt you, our friends both old and new, into our family; and show our future child that he has more aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers & sisters than could ever fit on some family tree.
    We should start by giving you a brief snapshot of how we arrived at this decision. For weeks I had felt a calling toward, and an interest in, adoption. I mostly passed this off as daydreaming, but I could never really shake it. The disappointment was that I couldn't make it clear either. I never felt that it was something we definitely should be doing, but I never could quite dismiss it either. That was until Ashley said, "You know, I think I'd be ok with adoption." Yep, that did it. It was clear to me almost instantly that what I'd been thinking about was something that we actually needed to investigate fully. The more we researched this process, the more we felt pulled toward it, until finally we were locked in. Without getting into too long of a story, we knew that God was guiding us in this direction and that we wouldn't be happy unless we went with Him.
     This will be difficult, we are well aware of that. We know that this can be a painstaking, time-consuming, checking account-emptying process. We are aware that this seems like a difficult task, this is why our mantra has become the quote that you see at the top of this page. Our child exists, that much we know. The Bible tells us that before God formed us in the womb, he knew us, so whether he is born yet or not, he is known to God and exists. The question for us then becomes not whether this is worth the time or effort, but what do we have to do to get our child home. Some of these posts will be short and some will ramble on (like this one). Some will be by Adam (the ones that ramble, also overuse of commas) and some will be by Ashley, but they are all designed for the same purpose: to keep those we love involved in this process. We look forward to sharing this time with you and appreciate all of your prayers and kind words as we move forward. Welcome to our family.