Better Late than Never

     We’ve been writing this blog, first weekly and now monthly, for over a year and, with a few minor exceptions, it’s been on time. You could plan on it, every Monday (now the first Monday of the month), you could count on the fact that we’d be posting a blog. If you’re not someone that we get to talk to a lot, you’re probably wondering what happened. I mean, why is it December 17 and we’re just getting around to posting something? Are we not adopting anymore? Did we get moved into the witness protection program? What is going on here?!?!

    Some major things have been happening since our last update. First of all, we found a birth mom! We were fortunate enough to make a connection with a wonderful young woman in Illinois who decided that she wanted to place her child with us. We’ve stayed in close contact via email for several weeks, but we were able to finally meet her face to face last weekend. As awkward as a dinner with someone you’ve never met can be, our meeting was fantastic. We’ve been really blessed to get to go through this process with such a great person.

     The other major thing that’s going on (although it’s a part of the same thing, I suppose) is that she’s due pretty soon. Really, really soon. Like “5 weeks from now” soon. So sometime in mid to late January, we’ll be welcoming a wonderful baby boy into our home. The fact that this is all happening so suddenly is another reason we’ve put off the blog a little bit. There have been several nights when we’ve had to contact lawyers and adoption agencies, not to mention our birth mom, and also make sure we have plans in place for when it’s time to go meet our child. There’s a lot to do and a short time in which to do it, but with a lot of help, prayer, and hard work, we’re getting there.

    So, if any of you were wondering, that’s why there’s been no blog. We’ve been busy, but we also wanted to wait until after we met our birth mom. As stressful as things have been at times, we’ve really been blessed that God has put us in this situation.

    We’ll keep updating the blog over the next few months to let everyone know how things are going. We also still have a fundraiser planned for April 12 that we’ll keep you updated on. When we picked the date for the fundraiser, we never imagined that we’d even be matched with a birth mom by then, let alone have a child. I guess God had some different things in mind. Regardless, we’re going to go ahead with the fundraiser which will hopefully cover most of the remaining adoption costs. So go ahead and mark your calendar.

    Finally, we can’t say enough how much we appreciate all of the support and prayers you’ve given to us throughout this process. The feedback you’ve given us, both through the blog and in person, has been tremendous and has kept us going. We look forward to keeping you updated as we finally meet our child, and seeing many of you on April 12 so we can introduce you to the newest addition to our family.

From us (all 3 of us) to you, we hope you have a wonderful Christmas and an amazing New Year.

Orphan Sunday

    
     November is probably my favorite month. The weather is great, there’s Thanksgiving, and the start of college basketball season (Go Hoosiers!). But another great thing about November is that it’s National Adoption Month, the highlight of which is Orphan Sunday. Orphan Sunday is a day of celebration and adoption awareness started by the Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO). On Orphan Sunday, churches around the country talk about the cause of orphans and the biblical calling for the church to embrace adoption. The sad part is that I’m willing to bet most of you didn’t hear anything like that in your church service.

      Let me clarify a bit, I’m not calling out anybody’s pastor. Our church is like many of yours in that we have a dedicated and caring ministry team that does amazing work both in the church and in the community. They are a true blessing to anyone they encounter.

     So why didn’t we hear anything about the orphans? (If I may borrow from Shakespeare) “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.” We (the church) have to make a bigger deal about adoption. To rely on our pastors to have to “remind” us about adoption issues is a negligence of our duties as followers of Christ. James 1:27 says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

      The people of the church need to make a big deal about this. Orphan Sunday should be something we circle on our calendars every year. We should put it on t-shirts and billboards. We should have huge adoption-related events at the churches. In our homes we should share those little annoying facebook links until they fill up our wall and drive our friends crazy! But we don’t do any of that. We don’t do it because it shines a huge spotlight on an issue that we’d rather keep in the dark; the fact that we aren’t doing enough for God’s children.

      Adoption month should mean more to Christians because we are all adopted. When we proclaim ourselves to the world as children of God, we acknowledge our adoption into His kingdom. What does it say about us if we ignore the rest of His children in their time of need?

      This isn’t intended to put anyone down or to criticize their church, but simply to ask a question that many of us are afraid to ask ourselves, “Can we be doing more?” If it were your child who was homeless and alone, you would stop at nothing to get them home where they are loved and cared for. Should we care any less when it’s God’s child?

October Update

     Now that we’re knee-deep in the unbearable waiting that our adoption journey has become, we find ourselves doing strange things. Things that we couldn’t imagine ourselves doing just a few weeks ago seem to make sense now. For example, we shopped for baby beds this weekend. Of course, we haven’t been matched with a birth mother yet and, even when we do, we’ll have a few months to get everything ready for our child. But still, for some reason, it makes sense for us to go shopping for baby beds. I’d like to say that’s the only thing we’ve purchased, but I’m not that great of a liar.

     The other unusual (for us) thing that we did this month was walk in our adoption agency’s annual 5k fundraiser. We’ve never been in a 5k before, so we weren’t really sure what to expect, but we ended up having a great day. We were fortunate enough to have beautiful weather and that, combined with getting to walk in a great park and with the wonderful people from the Miriam Project, allowed us to really enjoy our day. Even though it meant waking up at 4am on a Saturday and driving over 2 hours each way, we were very happy that we went. And we’re hoping to take a bigger group with us next year, so start getting in shape. You have a little less than 50 weeks of training time left.

     In the meantime we’re planning our next fundraiser. We’re still working out some of the details, but we’ll be having another dinner on April 12. We’re hoping to also have a silent auction, so if anyone has items they would like to donate or would like to help in any way, please let us know.

    Between planning for a fundraiser, thinking about becoming 5k runners, and purchasing items that we aren’t possibly going to use anytime soon; we’re staying pretty busy. Is it a bunch of stuff that we’ve thrown together just to keep busy and make the waiting more bearable? Yeah, probably. But in all the stuff we’ve been doing, we’re still having a lot of fun with the process. Don’t get me wrong, the waiting sometimes makes me want to pull my hair out, but we know that in the end it’s all going to be worth it. God has our child already picked out for us and His timing (even though sometimes we get frustrated with it) is perfect. Then again, if He wants to move things along a little quicker, you won’t hear us complain.

No August Happenings

We’ve been away from this blog for about a month now, so I’m sure you’re ready to hear about all the progress we’ve made since early August. Are you ready to hear about all you’ve missed? Well here it is….not much.  Like we’ve been for a few months now, we’re still dealing with the waiting. While we wait though, we’re consistently trying to find ways to educate and prepare us for the rest of our adoption process.

     Like we’ve done since we started considering adoption, we’re still reading every kind of adoption material we can get our hands on, listening to adoption podcasts, and watching things on TV about adoption. Recently though, we heard about a national adoption conference that will be in Louisville this year, which is great for us.  We’re looking forward to spending the weekend at this event in October, so hopefully we’ll be able to share a lot of the material from that weekend with you when we do our next blog update.

     As we told you about in our last entry, we’re also preparing for our adoption agency’s annual 5k fundraiser. At the time of our last blog entry this seemed so far off, but now that we’re a week and a half away, I’m starting to get a little concerned. I mean, surely I’ll make it, right? I’ve seen people in worse shape than me who say they’ve been to a 5k, so I like my chances. Plus it’s walking and I could probably walk all day, I suppose. It did help though when Ashley explained to me that “5k” didn’t mean 5,000 miles.

    As far as our actual adoption goes though, we’re still stuck in what seems like an endless amount of waiting. Granted, it’s only been a few months since we’ve finished our home study, and we’re aware that sometimes people have to wait much longer, but the waiting hasn’t gotten any easier. Of course, we hope that by the time we update this blog next month, we’re full of information about all the progress we’ve made to get closer to our child. However, until then, we continue to appreciate all of the support and prayers that you’ve given us. Thanks again.

The Last Till September

    We’ve written this blog every week for just about a year now. In that time we’ve gone from knowing nothing about how the adoption process works to being the self-proclaimed experts that we are now. Not real experts, mind you, just experts in our own minds.  Seeing that we’ve gone that far, we thought it was time to take a bit of a break. We’ll still update the blog when we have any progress to report (so hopefully a lot), plus we’ll update it once a month, usually on the first Monday, so keep checking our facebook page and we’ll make sure everyone is aware of any new posts.

    But before we take a little break, there are a couple more things we wanted to remind everyone about. First of all, we wanted to remind everyone about the Miriam Project 5k run/walk in Anderson on Sept. 14. Registration remains open until September 5, so if you or anyone you know would be interested, go to miriamproject.org and fill out the registration form. The Miriam Project is a great agency full of people who’ve been wonderful to us from the very start and, if you chose to take part in this event, they would greatly appreciate the support.

     Secondly, we’ll be placing another t-shirt order this weekend. They’re the same shirts that we’ve posted on here before, so if you’ve never seen them, the pictures are here on one of our first few blog posts. The shirts are $20, so if you would like one, please let us know as soon as possible and we’ll get your order in. Whether you’re local or we need to ship a shirt to you, we’ll make sure you get it.

     Finally, we’ll be having another fundraiser in a few months that we wanted to make sure we reminded everyone about. We'll have more details as we get closer to the date, but the plan so far is to have a dinner and silent auction. If anyone wants to help out in any way, or if you have auction items that you’d like to donate, please let us know. We’re hoping to make this a big event that will help us cap off our fundraising efforts and we hope to see everyone there.

     Those are all the updates we have for now, but hopefully we’ll have a lot to tell you very soon. We’ll try to save the blog for any real news, but if you want to keep up with what’s going on day to day, make sure you follow our facebook page. Ashley tends to keep that updated pretty frequently, so you’ll know what’s happening between blog posts.  

    Thanks again to all of you who read this. You’ve blessed us more than you know in the last year. Even the waiting has been made easier because we got to share it with friends.

These Sneakers are made for Walking

      Our adoption agency has been great to us through each step we’ve taken in this process. From the time we first met up with them they’ve treated us wonderfully and gone to any lengths to help us. A few weeks from now, we’ll get to return a portion of the kindness that they’ve shown us.

      As a non-profit agency, The Miriam Project relies a great deal on donations and fundraising to pay for the many services they provide. One of the biggest fundraising events they do throughout the year though takes off Saturday, September 14^th with the Miriam Project 5k/10k. Runners for the 5 or 10k, as well as 5k walkers, will gather at the Miriam Project offices at 8am for a day that not only guarantees to be fun, but also a time to support Miriam’s mission of uniting children with their forever families. Ashley and I, along with some friends and family, are looking forward to getting to see all the people from Miriam who have been so great to us, and to spend the day with so many others who have been so supportive to this cause.

     The reason we’re writing this tonight is that we wanted to invite all of you to join us. If you have Sept. 14 free and don’t mind making a trip to Anderson, we’d love to have as many of you there as possible. All of the information about the event is on the agency’s website (www.miriamproject.org). If you’d like to pre-register, you can do that there. Or, if you’d like to register with us, just let us know and we’ll register our group all at once. Early registration guarantees that you’ll get a t-shirt (registration on race day doesn’t), and pre-registration ends on September 5.

     We know that most, if not all, of you won’t be able to join us, and that’s ok. We also understand that, even if you wanted to go, making a drive to Anderson early on a Saturday morning isn’t how most people want to spend their weekend. Don’t worry, that’s ok too. This blog has just been so great for us that we wanted to take the opportunity to invite all our friends who read it to join us at this event.

The Waiting Game

       I’m not really sure how this whole “waiting for a baby” thing works, so I’m not sure if we’re doing it right or not. We’ve looked for books to tell us what we should be doing during this time, but unfortunately Books-a-million didn’t have anything called “What to Expect when You’re Expecting Someone Else to be Expecting.” Our house has generally divided into 2 distinct strategies. The first one, which has been adopted by me and the dogs, is to wait semi-patiently until there’s some progress. The second approach has been to freak out about everything and find work that, for some reason, has to be done immediately, even though our baby is, at best, several months away. I won’t tell you who has taken this approach, but I will tell you that it’s someone I’m related to by marriage and leave it at that.

     Last week we were able to get rid of the yard sale stuff that filled our spare bedroom for the last several weeks. This is the room that will eventually be our child’s room, so now that it was empty, that meant that it needed to be painted right away. If you understand that logic, you’re firmly siding with Team Ashley. (However, if you thought, “What’s the hurry? There’s plenty of time to paint,” then I welcome you to the good team.) It’s no big deal though. I mean, the room was empty, so why not go ahead and get that done while we had time. I get that. It makes a lot of sense actually. Plus, it’s not like we had anything else to do. And that’s the problem that keeps coming back at us; we have nothing else to do.

      For all the adoption books we’ve read, and all the research we’ve done, none of them really give you much advice on how to survive the wait. There’s a ton of advice on how to pick an agency, domestic vs. international, and home studies, but none of them tell you much about what the wait is going to be like. Some mention it and that it’s hard, but that’s about as far as it goes. But we’ve been “paper pregnant” for almost 10 months now, and for the vast majority of that time, the question has always been, “What’s next?” First it was researching and choosing an agency. Then it was the information gathering for the application process. After that was the home study and the profile book. There was always something to work on, until now. It’s kind of a weird feeling.

     So now we’re here, just looking toward a light at the end of the tunnel. We don’t know how long that tunnel is, or how long that light will take to get here, but at least we’ve made it this far. Until we get to the end though, we’ll be finding ways to stay busy to keep our minds off the wait. Whether it’s buying things for our child, or painting his/her room, we’re trying to put any nervous energy to good use. This kid had better hurry though. If not, we’ll end up with a house full of baby items and every room in the house is getting painted.

 

 

P.S.- Just to let everyone know, we’re planning on having another fundraiser dinner this winter and are hoping to include a silent auction. If anyone has anything they would like to donate for the auction, or would be interested in volunteering at the dinner, please let one of us know. We'll have more details on here as we begin to get our plans finalized for this event. Thanks again to all of you for all the support and encouragement you continue to give us.

Adam's Soapbox

     This blog has been a number of things since we started it last September. In the last 43 weeks, we’ve shared some pretty great experiences with all of you. From picking an agency to preparing for a home study, we’ve enjoyed being able to tell all of you about it. But this blog has been some other things too. We’ve discussed things like taking our kids to IU games, the dogs knocking down the Christmas tree, and my agony over which little NBA jersey I’ll buy for my child first (I’m thinking a Victor Oladipo jersey). But today’s entry is something different. I’ll apologize in advance, but this is my soapbox moment.

     I got angry the other day. That’s not totally uneventful though. I mean, sometimes I get angry in traffic, at work, at the dogs, you name it (although never at my wonderful wife who is perfect in every way and who also edits this blog). But I suppose that happens to all of us at times. But this wasn’t one of those little angry moments that you get over in a minute or two, this was one of those visceral angry things that sticks with you and keeps you from sleeping at night.

    Here’s the thing: I think racism is stupid. I’ve honestly never understood it. I mean, if you want to hate me, that’s fine, I’m sure I’ve given you a reason somewhere along the way, but hating someone or judging them for something they have no control over, like the color of their skin is ridiculous to me. I just don’t get it. But late Friday night I stumbled into a facebook conversation that had evolved from reasonable discussion to borderline hate speech. I read the first few comments on the page, and everything was fine until I read a comment that basically said that all “they” (meaning African-Americans) do is complain about slavery and look for handouts from everyone instead of earning what they get like everyone else does.

     Now I make it a policy not to argue with stupid people, but my anger got to me for a few minutes, and in that time I thought of a hundred different things I wanted to say back to him (none of them repeatable). But I followed Ashley’s advice to stay calm before I replied with anything. I tried to reply calmly and respectfully, but the thought that kept going through my mind was, “He’s talking about my kid.”

     Way back when we first began our adoption application, we had to answer the big question about what racial makeup we were willing to accept in our adoption. While race was never a big deal to us, a lot of the research said that the hardest children to get placed were African-American boys. Our immediate reaction was that, if that’s who needs to be adopted, that’s what we want. We wanted to help where help was needed and if African-American boys are the demographic that needs the most help, then that’s what we want. So maybe that’s why what this guy had to say got to me so much. The idea that this guy, who was on my friends list up until that point, would make a generalization about my child (even though he isn’t born yet) had me shaking with anger. My kid is going to have a hard enough life just dealing with us as his parents, he doesn’t need stupid people adding to it.

      One thing that stuck with me though, is the fact that he was so comfortable generalizing his fellow citizens in the first place. But a lot of us have had trouble with that. We generalize people with different political opinions, religions, even regions of the country by what we assume they are like. But how often do we take the time to talk to people who have an opinion that differs from ours? Maybe what I wrote tonight will offend you or cause you to make some broad generalization about me, but if it does, I’d much rather you talk to me and explain why you disagree. We can discuss it. Great things happen when intelligent people are willing to engage in discussion, even when they disagree.

    The only thing I know about my child is that there’s a pretty good chance that he’s not going to look anything like me. In fact, if he did, I’d probably be a little concerned. But I know that no matter if my child is white, black, Asian, Hispanic, or whatever, it won’t matter to me for one second, because he’ll be my child and we’ll be a family. I wonder what would happen if we all treated each other that way.

Yard Sale

       So, what are you doing Saturday? Oh, you’re busy? Well, that’s understandable, I suppose. I mean, we were just hoping you’d help us raise a little more of the money that will be used to bring home our unborn child, but I suppose your plans must be important. Oh, you’re not busy anymore? That’s great!

     Here’s the deal: We’re having a yard sale at our house Saturday morning as a fundraiser for our adoption. I know, we’ve already had one yard sale, but we’ve got a lot more stuff! We’ve had more donations and have a ton of different items that we need to get rid of. Whatever it is you need, there’s a decent chance that we have it somewhere. We’ve turned part of Ashley’s mom’s house into our yard sale warehouse, then stored the items that wouldn’t fit there into an extra bedroom in our house. The point that I’m trying to make it this; Ashley wants her house back! We have to get rid of all of these boxes, and you can help us with that!

    Maybe we won’t have anything you’re interested in, and that’s fine. And maybe you really do have plans that won’t allow you to join us Saturday morning (the guilt trip at the beginning was totally a joke, by the way), but if you’re able to stop by we’d love to see you. If you want to join us Saturday morning, we’re at 981 S. Orchard Rd. in Salem. We’re starting at 7AM and going until we either run out of things to sell (which would be awesome), or we get tired and want to go inside (which is far more likely). The sale is also weather dependent. If it rains, we’ll have to postpone, so let’s all pray for a sunny day. We’ll also have a listing in the Salem paper on Thursday that will have some of the items in there. If you tell us you heard about the yard sale on the blog, you’ll get a discount of…well, nothing. It is a fundraiser after all. But we’d still appreciate hearing that you’re reading.

    That’s all for this week. Hopefully we’ll have some updates to give you next week on the progress of our adoption. We hope to see you all on Saturday morning!

Ready, Set, Wait

Ever since we started this process almost a year ago, there’s been one part that we dreaded more than anything else. Unfortunately, we’re at that point. It’s time to wait. This afternoon we mailed a copy of our profile book to our agency, along with the payment for completing our home study. All of that means that we’ve pretty much done everything we can do on our end, so now we begin the wait. Our agency doesn’t really have a chronological list though. Their goal is to make a good match between birth mothers and adoptive families, so the wait that we’ve dreaded might not be too long, but it’s still not something we’ve been looking forward to.

     Despite the fact that we’ve dreaded the wait for so long, getting to this point feels pretty great for a few reasons. First of all it’s nice to not have to worry about which documents or forms we needed to get filled out and turned in next. After spending months going through every detail of our finances, home, and family life, it’s nice not to have to think about turning something else in. It’s also nice to a sense of finality. I know we’re not at the end of this yet, but dropping that envelope in the mail this afternoon left me with an awesome feeling. It felt like we had taken a huge step closer to getting this process finished, but more importantly, we felt much closer to bringing our child home.

     We’ve waited on a lot of things throughout this process, but now the real wait has begun. We might not have as many things to update you with, but we’ll continue to try to update the blog once a week to keep everyone aware of any progress we have. We’ll also have smaller updates on our facebook page for all those little pieces of information that aren’t quite big enough to write a blog about. If you aren’t following us on facebook, you can find us by searching for Adopting Willpower.

    We’re excited at the progress we’ve made, but more excited about what’s to come. This wait, no matter how long it takes, will send us through a wave of emotions. There will be times, I’m sure, like today when we feel so happy about the progress we’ve made. There will also be times when we think that we’ll never get to the end. No matter what kind of mood we’re in, we’re looking forward to bringing all of you with us as we continue on this journey. As always, we appreciate all of the support you’ve given us through your prayers, kind words, and donations, and ask for your continued prayers as we move forward. We can’t tell you how much it means to us that you’ve joined our family on this path. Thanks for your support….and thanks for waiting with us.

We're done!!..Just kidding

    It’s over! We’re finally finished! Ok, we’re not totally finished, but we’re sort of finished…with some stuff…..almost. We did make a lot of progress this week though that has us very excited. First of all, our home study is finally finished. We had to track down a few more documents to add to the report in the last couple of days, but we received an email from our case worker today that said everything was finished. We weren’t really worried about it getting finished, but it was a great relief to finally have it done.

    The other thing we finished this week was our profile book. This is the book that our agency will show to birthmothers that they feel might be a good match for us. The book is full of pictures of us and our family and friends and gives them an idea of who we are. If it sounds a little like an advertisement for us, well, it kind of is I guess, but it allows the birth mother to get a good idea of the family she might be placing her child with. To say that we (and by “we” I mean Ashley) have obsessed over the making of this book in the last few weeks is an understatement. We’ve looked through every picture we can find and went over every word to make sure everything was just right. After reading over it several times together, we took it to a few other people to make sure it was ok, then sent it to our case worker. This was the scary part. I mean, we love our case worker, but we’ve also never made a book like this. We wouldn’t have been surprised if she came back with a list of things we did wrong that had to be fixed. Fortunately, she emailed us today and said everything looked great. While it doesn’t seem like a big deal to go online and make a photo book, getting this done was a huge victory for us.

     So now that those two things are done, we’re getting close to having our part of things finished. We’ll get the book and home study turned in, then we’ll be in the waiting pool (Not to be confused with the wading pool, which would be much more fun). Our agency doesn’t work off a waiting list, so we could get matched up with a birth mother any time after that. We’re hoping the wait will be short, and that very soon some birth mother will see our profile and think that we’re just what she is looking for. No matter how long the wait is though, we’re excited at the progress we’ve made and how close we are to getting to our child.

     We probably agonized over the profile book too much…..and the home study…..and pretty much everything else, but in the end it’s all going to be worth it. We’re excited about what’s happening with this process. Even though it might take longer than we like, we feel like we’re taking huge steps to getting closer to our child. We’re excited about what’s happening and we’re excited that you’ve all chosen to be a part of this journey with us. Thanks for everything.

Too Blessed to be Stressed

     So I’ve been having some headaches recently (don’t worry, I saw the doctor, had an MRI, saw another doctor, now we’re all good…except that it kind of led to the blog being late this week. Sorry). And though they turned out to be nothing serious, it led to a lot of concern and attempts to figure out where they were coming from. More than once someone has suggested that maybe it’s the stress of the adoption process that’s at the root of this mysterious brain pain. And while that’s probably a decent idea, I feel like I need to set the record straight at this point; our adoption isn’t stressful.

    Ok, I’ll admit, there have been a few times we’ve been stressed. When we had our home study, we were worried we wouldn’t get the house clean. When we had our fundraiser dinner, we worried about not having enough food (or not enough people to eat the food we had). But all of our worries have been things like that; the things that are associated with the adoption, but aren’t a real part of the adoption process itself.

    Maybe we just haven’t gotten to the stressful part yet. There might be some of you who have adopted and are thinking about how naïve we are and that we don’t realize all the stressful parts that are coming. Maybe you’re even right. I think we’d be the first people to tell you that we aren’t experts on this, but to be totally honest, we’re having a lot of fun with this process. I mean, who else do you know that invites all of their friends and family over (and even some strangers) to dump cans in their yard? That was an awesome night! We had a soup supper a few months ago, which was also a great time. From the yard sales we’ve had to selling t-shirts, we’ve had fun with just about everything we’ve done.

    The common denominator in all of these things is the people who’ve been involved. Everyone we’ve had who’s helped us, no matter what we’ve been doing, has been such a blessing to us. If you dumped cans in our yard, donated items for our yard sale, bought a t-shirt, or even read this blog every now and then; we seriously can’t tell you how much you all mean to us. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve helped make this process so much easier on us and we appreciate that so much.

    Eventually we’re going to print out all of these blog entries to save for our future child. Hopefully that will allow him to learn a little about the process that got him home. He’ll learn a few other things also. That dad likes to ramble and use way too many commas. That we had a few odd fundraisers to help with the adoption costs. That this blog occasionally drifts into talking about IU basketball. But hopefully he’ll also see how many of you have supported us (and our blog) from week to week and how positive of an experience his adoption has been. Trust me when I tell you that those two things are definitely connected.

Famous...well....almost famous

        So, in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last week or so, let me break the news to you: we’re famous now. Seriously, we’re multimedia superstars! I’m surprised you haven’t heard about it, but if you haven’t, let me get you up to speed on our new-found fame. A few weeks ago, Marcia Walker from The Salem Leader came by the house to talk to us about our Can Our Yard Night Fundraiser and our adoption in general. We had a nice conversation for about an hour or so before she left. We didn’t ask when it would be in the paper because, quite frankly, we didn’t know if she would even find any of our story newsworthy. I mean, granted, the whole can in the yard thing is interesting in a whole “those people are weird” kind of way, but is it really worth dedicating a story in the paper to? Apparently it was, because we opened the paper last week to find our picture in there. (It’s also online, hence the term “multimedia superstars”)

http://salemleader.com/main.asp?SectionID=54&SubSectionID=276&ArticleID=6947&TM=82175.33

       It was great to have the article in the paper, and the fact that they even wanted to include it in the paper was awesome. The whole reason we’ve been so open about our adoption process is that we’ve wanted to be a resource for others thinking about adoption, so getting our information out has been great. We also like anything that publicizes adoption more. After all, if someone sees us in the paper, whether they’ve ever met us or not, it might make them consider adoption. And with all the children in the world who need homes, the more families that are willing to adopt, the better.

      But for all the things that were good about having that article in the paper, there was one thing that bugged me about the whole situation. It was that this was even news in the first place. Granted, dumping cans in someone’s yard to help them raise money is news, but the adoption process itself, and even fundraising to pay for it shouldn’t be. One of the biggest hurdles that separates people who think about adoption from people who adopt is that the costs become too much. Most people can’t afford to just write a check to cover adoptions. Fundraising is the key that allows average people to take on the above average cost of an adoption. Personally, nothing would make me happier than seeing adoption fundraisers in the newspaper every week. The more common fundraisers become, the more kids are finding loving homes.

       I know fundraising can be kind of a touchy subject. Some people may even say, “Hey, it’s your choice to adopt. If you can’t pay for it, that’s your problem.” And I understand that completely. But if having a fundraiser, whether it’s for us or someone else, helps get a child who needs a home into one, then I’d be happy going to fundraisers every weekend. I hope that’s one of the things people take away from this blog and our openness about the process is that, even though you think you can’t afford to adopt, there are options. Our greatest goal is that this causes other people to talk about adopting. And while I can’t afford to pay for other people’s adoptions at the moment, maybe I’ll win Powerball or something and I’ll pay for a lot of them. Maybe it will even be yours. Just tell people your adoption was financed by some multimedia superstar.

You Silly Goose

Parents can have some pretty high expectations for their kids. Some parents are convinced that their kid is going to be the next Michael Jordan, the next Mozart, or the next Albert Einstein even before they’re out of diapers…sometimes before they’re even born. But to be fair, we have some pretty high expectations for our future kid also. Like his mother and father before him, we expect our child to be a huge dork.   

     What brings this up is that it’s almost time to have our annual NerfWar at our house. For those of you who are more mature than us (pretty much all of you), NerfWar is like a big, grown-up game of capture the flag. Everyone has a Nerf gun and, if you get shot, you’re out. If you’re wondering, yes, we have the maturity of 7 year olds, but it’s not just us, our friends are dorks too. Just picture a big, open yard full of adults (and we let some kids play too) running around with Nerf guns. Sounds pretty silly, right? It gets worse. This year we’re dressing up like superheroes. Like I said, we’re dorks.

    It’s weird, we know, but we have a lot of fun with it. More than anything else, it’s an excuse to have our friends and family over. We get to run around the yard with the people playing the game, and get to spend the rest of the night enjoying a cookout with everyone else.  But that’s why I’m pretty convinced that our child will turn out to be a dork…because he’ll be surrounded by them! No offense to any of our friends and family members reading this, but you guys are huge dorks too. Our child will grow up with parents that not only think adults playing with Nerf guns is normal, he’ll be surrounded by them!

    I think our future child’s dorkiness is a great thing though. Although I’m sure he’ll eventually be embarrassed that mom and dad are shooting at their friends with Nerf darts, there’s going to be a time when he has a lot of fun with it. We’re looking forward to having him around. We can’t wait to have our own little NerfWar player running around the yard with us, trying to capture the other team’s flag. Hopefully by the time we have our next NerfWar, we’ll have our little Nerf Warrior here. I think he’ll love being a part of it. Even if it means having a family full of dorks.

Home Study? NAILED IT.

So we finally made it. After weeks of worrying about what the home study would be like, we were finally able to get through it.  In retrospect, there was no need to worry at all, our case worker’s visit on Thursday and Friday couldn’t have gone any better. We spent about 3 hours Thursday evening answering a few questions both individually and together, then another hour or so on Friday talking about a few other things, and after that we were done. It was great.

The fact that we got through this with such ease is due in large part to our great case worker from The Miriam Project. Brooke and her agency have been outstanding to work with since we first met them. They’ve always been eager to help with any questions we’ve had and have been an amazing partner in this process. The other way we got through this was through all the support of our family and friends. Last week, as this home visit was drawing near, we asked for your prayers. When it came time for our home study, the nerves we’d felt the weeks before (the nerves that fueled cleaning and painting binges around our home) sort of disappeared. By Thursday afternoon, we felt comfortable. We were comfortable answering the questions we were asked, comfortable talking about the paperwork we had to do, and comfortable discussing the future of the child we’ve prayed for all this time.

Next on our seemingly endless to-do list is the creation of a profile book. This will be a book of photos and descriptions for our agency to show to birth mothers that they feel would be good matches for us. The goal is to try to use this book to try and show who we are. I’m not sure if that’s possible, but we’re going to do our best. Eventually, this book will find its way into the hands of a birth mother who hoping to provide for her child what we can give. So just when we thought the pressure was off, here we are back in it again. Regardless, we’re confident that God has a plan for this process. He already has a birth mother and child in mind for us. And while I’m sure we’ll still agonize over every picture and every word that goes into that book, knowing that He is in charge continues to comfort us.

A Week of Panic!

      In the last month we’ve sold concessions at an auction, had 2 day yard sale, and filled our yard with 627 pounds of aluminum cans. It would be reasonable now if we decided that we needed to relax a bit and take some time off. I guess we’re not all that reasonable, because all of that stuff seems like a vacation this week as we prepare for the biggest step so far in our adoption journey: our home study. So instead of taking this week and relaxing, we’re running around the house in a panic, cleaning (and re-cleaning) everything we can find in preparation for our case worker’s visit to our house.

     That panic is based not in reality, but in the fact that we have no idea what to expect. Sure, we’ve read every book we can find, talked to everyone we can think of, and done more research online than we thought was humanly possible, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re still new at this. All that research is great, but none of those books gave us a guarantee about what would happen at our house. I mean, what if she wants to look in our fridge? She could, right?  I guess it’s possible, so we cleaned that out. Does it look bad if we have a bunch of dirty laundry? Just in case, we’ll wash every bit of clothing we have. At this point, I’m prepared to be judged based on what brand of peanut butter we use. (It’s JIF, but I’m picking up some Peter Pan tomorrow just in case).

      At the end of the day though, all of the fear and worry over this home visit can be calmed by thinking of one simple question, “Why are we adopting?” When we ask ourselves that question, we know that we’re doing this because it’s what God has called us to do. When we first decided to do this, it was after weeks of prayer and discussion, all of which was leading us to the same direction. If we are going to trust in God to guide us in our decision, how can we not also trust Him to guide us through the times when we’re stressed or uncertain? Despite the brief moments of stress at our house this week, we take comfort in the fact that God is bigger than anything we’re worrying about.

     As of tonight, we have about 2 more days to get the house ready for our home study. And I’m sure over those next 2 days we’ll be running around like crazy to make everything spotless, but we’re also going to remember that ultimately God is in control of our adoption from even before we knew about it. I didn’t mean to be preachy this week, but if you’ll allow one more thing, I’d like to ask (if praying is your thing) for your prayers this week as we prepare and go through our home study. We’d greatly appreciate it. We will continue to pray that this process goes smoothly and that we will be able to let go and let God take control of what He would have us do. By this time next week, I’m confident that He will have guided us through a successful home study and have us one step closer to bringing our child home. Even if we don’t have the right kind of peanut butter.

627 Pounds-worth of Thanks

        So, how was your weekend? Ours was pretty nice. After I got in from work Friday, my parents and Ashley’s parents stopped by for a little while, which was great, and later a few more friends stopped by for a few minutes. All in all it was a pretty nice evening.

Oh yeah, and then there was this….

 

That’s what our yard looked like when we woke up on Saturday morning. Friday was, of course, our “Can Our Yard Night” fundraiser, so we spent Saturday cleaning up. We spent most of the morning raking cans into a huge pile then shoveling them into garbage bags. After loading up 4 cars with 627 pounds of aluminum, we began our caravan to Mitchell to Goodman’s for recycling. And though I’m not sure dad could see out of the back of his truck, and I drove most of the way with one hand because of the giant bag of cans in my passenger seat pushing against my side, we all made it safely there. After a few minutes of unloading (which, by the way, goes way faster than the loading), we had finished up another fundraiser and had another big addition to our adoption fund.

 

We wanted to thank all of you again so much for taking part in this fundraiser and for your donations. The amount of cans as well as separate donations that we received was more than we ever imagined and we’re so grateful. And a special thank you to the people at Goodman’s who were so kind and helpful to us on Saturday. Friday night (and even Saturday) was a lot of fun for us and we can’t tell you how much we enjoyed sharing that evening with you.

Now that we have that out of the way, we’ll get to work preparing for our home study in a couple of weeks. We’ll try to keep you all updated on how that goes after we get finished with it. We’re also planning on having some other events in the future, but we don’t have anything to announce yet. We’ll keep you posted on here when we get those nailed down. In the meantime, thanks for all you have done and all that you continue to do. Your support, prayers, and encouragement mean so much to us.

Can Our Yard Night!

      We’re going to keep this short and sweet tonight for a few reasons. First of all, we’re getting ready for our next fundraiser this weekend, so we don’t have a lot of extra time. And secondly, I forgot about writing the blog until after 9 o’clock tonight. Sorry.

     Anyway, this week is our long-awaited “Can Our Yard Night” and we couldn’t be more excited. We’re looking forward to seeing everyone as they come over to trash our yard for the evening (and to clarify, it’s only that evening. This isn’t going to be an every weekend thing). So Friday night, from 6-11 pm, swing by our house at 981 Orchard Rd. in Salem and come take part. And while you’re at it, tell your friends, co-workers, neighbors, or whoever else you can find to stop by also. This is a “more the merrier” kind of situation. If you don’t have any cans at home, we can work with that. Just stop by the store, buy a can of coke, drink it on your way here, then toss it in the yard. No problem!

     We’ll have everything marked as best we can, but just to keep everyone in the loop, here’s how this is going to work. First of all, we’re going to be dumping all the cans in yard on the south side of the house. We’re keeping things on that side of the house just to make sure we keep them from drifting into the neighbor’s yard or into the road. Don’t worry, the side yard will allow plenty of room for you to dump as many cans as you’d like. We’ll have everything marked off in the yard though, so when you get here, you’ll know where you can dump everything. Also, when you get here, we’re going to have you turn into the driveway, then into the yard. This should make it easier for everyone to get off the road, dump their cans, then safely get back on the road. Again, we’ll have all of this marked off so there won’t be any confusion. Driving through the yard shouldn’t be any problem (unless it’s really soggy, then just drive slow) but if you’re worried about damaging the yard, just remember, we’ll have a yard full of aluminum cans. We appreciate the concern, but we’ll have bigger problems.

     But just because the entrance and exit will be marked, don’t think that we’re going to push you through like you’re in the drive-thru at McDonald’s. We want to have fun with this and we want you to also. If you want to drop them off and leave, that’s fine, but if you feel like hanging out with us for a little while, we’ll have a spot on the side of the yard where you can park and stay for a little while. We’ll be sitting around outside from 6-11, and we’d love to have the company.

     I think that pretty much covers all the details, but if you have questions or there’s anything I didn’t cover, you can call me at 812-968-4975, or send either of us (or our adoption page) a message on facebook and we’ll answer any questions you have. We’re looking forward to a really fun evening and hope to see all of you there. We’re as excited to see you guys as some of you are to make a mess in our yard. And, by the way, if any of you really enjoy picking up cans, then I think I might be able to hook you up with a fun activity for Saturday!

Why fundraise?

       We've had a lot going on this month, which has been great, but also pretty exhausting. Regardless, we're excited about what's been going on. A lot of great things have happened in the last couple of weeks for us. In the last two weekends we've sold concessions at an auction and had a fundraiser yard sale in Orleans. Both took a lot of work, especially the yard sale, but after we finished up we were able to make a big step forward in our adoption fund. Thanks to all of you who stopped by the yard sale this weekend and to those of you who donated things for us to sell. You helped make it a great weekend.

       Talking about our adoption fund this weekend got me thinking though, why are we fundraising in the first place? I don't know that we've ever explained this fully, but I feel like we owe that to you. To clarify, if you said, "to help pay for the adoption costs," then yes, you're technically right. What I'm getting at though is why are we having public fundraisers instead of paying for it ourselves and taking out loans. Although we'd be lying if we said that there weren't at least some financial reasons for it, our reasoning goes a lot deeper than that.

       First of all, we have to acknowledge the financial side of it. We aren't poor by any means. We aren't what I would call rich either, but we're doing ok. That being said, we don't have the ability to go write a $20,000 check with any confidence that it wouldn't bounce. Since that isn't an option, we looked at taking out a loan to help cover the expenses. There are some really great places that do adoption loans, some of them are even interest-free. So loans would be a real option for us if there wasn't someone standing in the way. His name is Dave Ramsey. We're disciples of Dave Ramsey and, as he says on his radio show every day, "Debt is dumb," so we couldn't really see ourselves taking on that much debt. This left us with our current situation, saving and fundraising.

       But our motivation for fundraising isn't purely financial. From the very beginning of this process, we wanted to be very open about everything we were doing. If our goal was simply to get our child, then there are quieter ways to go about raising funds. But we wanted to be very public with our fundraisers because that's how we can raise awareness. We know that we aren't going to be able to talk to thousands of people about adoption through what we're doing, but that doesn't change the fact that we're never going to stop. This has become a life-long issue for us. From now until we can't do it anymore, we will speak about adoption to anyone who will listen, because this issue really is that important. And hang on to your wallet, because we'll keep trying to raise funds too. Whether it's for our adoptions (yes, that was plural) or to help other people adopt, we are committed to doing what we can, when we can, for as long as we can to help kids find homes. Through the small fundraisers we've had so far, we've been able to talk to several people about adoption. Most of them won't adopt, and that's fine, but maybe they'll donate to an adoption charity or mention adoption to someone they know, but the important thing is that we can all do something.

       I hope that you understand why we're so vocal and so passionate about this. It's for our child, of course, but it's just as much for the next child that needs a home. This process has given us a platform, however small it may be, to speak about this and hope that people hear. In my lifetime, I will never see an end to the crisis of orphans in the world, but if enough people are informed and determined, we can see positive change happen. I want to teach my kids how important adoption is so that future generations might be able to bring these children home. Is it a long shot? Absolutely, but real change starts with us. My dream is that someday when we're old and we have whole family over (after 2 generations of adopting, picture the United Nations cafeteria at lunch time), we can talk to our kids and grandkids about what kind of problem this used to be. And we can tell them about how wonderful it is that God chose us to be a family.

       Lastly, we ask a lot of you. We've asked you to buy shirts and bracelets. We've asked you to come to dinners and yard sales. We've even asked you to dump aluminum cans in our yard (that's May 10, by the way). But please, don't ever think that we aren't monumentally appreciative for what you've done for us. We heard a story the other day about a guy who was acting like a real jerk, which isn't a big deal, I suppose, but what irritated me most was that he represents a charity. So on one hand you can ask people for money, but then you can treat them like garbage? That's not right. And it bothers me because I hope that we never make you feel like we don't appreciate all that you've done. Without all of you, this uphill climb that we're on would be a whole lot steeper. You have made this process a joy and for that we can't thank you enough.

Longest Blog Post EEEVVVVEERRR

Before I start, I would like to remind folks that we are having a yard sale! This Friday and Saturday from 8:00 to when ever people stop showing up. We are having it at 6208 N Co Rd 75 E in Orleans. If you take Roosevelt St. out of town, the house is on the left, across from Paoli, Inc. We have SO much stuff, including a Ping Pong table, furniture, tons of clothes, and household items.
 
The next thing I would like to add is, if you don't have anything to do on Saturday (other than our yard sale) go to the Campbellsburg community building! A group of women have started a business called "The Market Place" and they have so many amazing decorative things! They are going to be open from 10:00-5:00. This year they will be donating a portion of their proceeds to our adoption fund! It is so great of them and we are very thankful for their generosity! If you would like to check out some of their items, check out their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/CampbellsburgMarketPlace
Ok, Now on to the blog:

 
In our family, Adam is the creative writer. This is why all but one (now two) blogs have been written by him. With good reason, I ramble on about who knows what!
Before I start my glorious ramblings that I have been holding back for about a month, I would first like to say I am deeply sorry if I offend anyone in the making of this blog. That is not my intent.

At this current moment in time Adam and I are waiting. And waiting. Not yet waiting to be selected by a birth mother, but waiting to schedule our home study to then wait 6-8 weeks to get it done so then we can be on the list to wait some more. This is not the fault of our adoption agency (they are amazing) but the state who is taking their sweet, sweet time to schedule their annual audit. One great thing about the waiting is we are going to be the most patient parents in the world.

While waiting, I have had a lot of time looking up adoption information. As Adam has pointed out before, My name is Ashley Brown and I am addicted to Pinterest. I have become obsessed with watching profile videos and videos of folks stories about meeting their children (most from overseas). Of course all most everyone of them, especially when the little kiddos meet their new families, make me cry. These videos bring me to ramble # 1. Infertility. We have dealt with infertility, sort of. We went to the doctor, they basically said "Good Luck" and we went on our way. In many of these videos there are parents who spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to then either have no luck or have 8 kids and get their own TV show. I have to say I disagree with this.  Sometimes people complain and complain about not being able to have "Their Own" kids, then when they finally decide to adopt, it's an attitude like, "well, this is our only hope."  I know they don't see it this way, but it seems like they're settling. It makes me think the child will always be 2nd place and never "their own". I have a hard time describing it exactly, so this one might be the silliest rant of all. However, if God brings infertility into your life, embrace it. On our questionnaire, it asked how infertility has affected your marriage. It tears a lot of families apart which is sad. Infertility in our family has made Adam and I closer, so much so. If you want a child, instead of spending the money on a medical procedures and drugs, consider putting it towards your adoption. The way God works through the adoption and through you and your relationship with your family and God is AMAZING.

Ramble #2. I could make this one much shorter. American adoption vs. International adoption? I say who gives a poopy.  I had watched a facebook rant the past week, which everyone as knows, facebook rants are AMAZING. This one was from WDRB about a family who adopted two children from Ethiopia (I think that's the right place) with HIV. On this post there were over 100 comments most negative about how these people should have never adopted these kids. I actually have a lot of mini rants from this. 1) For the people who were complaining about how "we'll be paying for these kids with our tax dollars." These children are not going to suckle on the government teat because of their health issues. When adopting children the insurance has to pick them up like there are no pre-existing issues. In order to adopt them in the first place, the parents would have to have proven that they not only had adequate insurance for the children, but the means to take care of all of their needs. There are times we should worry about how our tax dollars are being spent, but this is not one of them. 2) Question: "Isn't overseas adoption easier than adopting in the U.S.?" (another statement that was brought up multiple times) Answer: No. Now, I know I shouldn't speak of international adoption because that's not what we are doing. However, I do know that you still have to have interviews, home studies, a trip, if not multiple trips, overseas, sometimes to places that aren't necessarily the safest places to go. Plus you can't always get health backgrounds or all the medical conditions. So my opinion is they are both hard, exciting, nerve-wracking things, but well worth it. Don't go somewhere just because you think its the easy way. Pick a country that you feel comfortable with. 3) Next comment, "U.S. adoption are horrible. The kids seem to almost always go back to the birth parents." False. Every state is different, but in the great state of Indiana, parents have to sign over their rights soon after the birth. If a birth mother signs over her rights, few, if any, judges will reverse that. It is very rare in Indiana. While I can't speak to many people's experiences with foster care, I know that when an adoption is finalized, that's it. The child isn't taken away without cause after 5 years or more like some people had commented. And the last thing on this facebook story was 4) "It should be USA for USA! Don't adopt overseas, take care of our own!" To this I just shake my head. Adoption is adoption. Who cares where they come from, as long as a child has a good home.

This pretty much brings me to my last annoyimg rambling: Abortion. I know, touchy subject for everyone. I would like to go on the record saying I am COMPLETELY against abortion. I think, as soon as the child is conceived its a baby. Now, however, I look at abortion completely differently than I used to. I see it now as, if these children are born, what is going to happen to them? Pre-adoption, I wasn't as concerned about what happened to the child as long as it wasn't aborted as long as it got to live. Even if the mother didn't want the child, at least it got a chance to live. There are 3,288 (in 2011) abortions every day in the United States. (1.3 million abortions every year.) Let's say they make abortions illegal. That would be a wonderful thing. But now,  "adoption Ashley" says "Where the Heck are these kids going to go!?" We would have 1.3 million kids to find homes for. It blows my mind. That's over a million kids who need a forever family. If we are going to be pro-life, we also have to be pro-child.

There are around 147 million orphans in the world. If abortions stop, hopefully soon, that can potentially add another MILLION children to that number. What are we going to do with all these kids?! If the 147 million kids where sick it would be an epidemic and politicians, doctors, world leaders and everyone else would be doing everything in their power to solve it. However, they just don't have families and I guess that's no big deal? It breaks my heart. So this is my call. My call to ask you to help. Not necessarily for us, but someone, someone adopting, a child somewhere, or an agency. I have said this before but 35% of Christians think about adopting. 35% actually sounds like a good number, but only 2% actually adopt. It's really upsetting. We are called to care for the orphans. Now, I am not saying by any means "Yeah everyone go get you a kid!" But I think if God puts something in your head, there is a reason for that. Support Orphanages, Donate, Reach out, SOMETHING! None of us can do everything, but all of us can do something.

 And if adopting a child is what you are suppose to do, DO IT! Don't be scared. There are, of course, people who will put it down. People who you would think be so supportive end up tearing you apart and some may even talk about how horrible it is. But the great thing about it is the other people will be there. People will come out of the woodwork to help! People you think would never help, give more than you can ever imagine. People you don't even know. I'm not just talking about money, but support for the bad days and just someone to give you encouragement. And if money is the issue don't let it be. There are so many fundraisers out there! And if not fundraisers, there are grants! I mean, Adam and I are collecting cans! Cans! People's trash is helping us raise money for our child (May 10th by the way).

 I cannot say enough how great it is how God does things through adoption. You will hear other folks amazing stories and things seem to fall together so perfectly. Gods timing - PERFECT.  When we first started, a lot of people told us "Well I hope you will be able to have 'Your Own' one day". When you adopt, the child is your own. The child we get will be my child. I have never missed or loved someone that I have never met so much. I hurt for this child. For the waiting. Someone we know told us once that they love their biological child, but with their adopted child, the love is just different and powerful. I didn't understand what they meant at first. But now I do. And it's a great feeling.

So like I said before, I am sorry for my ramblings. I hope I didn't offend anyone. That's not what this was about. I just really hope some of you, if you are on the fence about adoption, consider it. There are SO many kids that need a home. And if you don't feel like you are being called to adopt. Help. Help the kids, help the adopting parents, help the agencies. Help someone!

Busy Bees

We're right in the middle of a very busy month, so we wanted to update everybody on what we have coming up. Next weekend we'll be selling concessions at an auction just down the road from our house on Orchard Rd. in Salem. You can find the auction listing in the newspaper or on salemleader.com to see if there's anything you're interested in buying. Even if there's not, you can come say hi and buy a hot dog or a piece of pie from us.

The next Friday and Saturday (26th and 27th) will be our yard sale in Orleans. It's going to be huge! We'll be at 6208 N. Co. Rd. 75 E (right behind Paoli Inc.) and we'll have just about everything. We spent most of our day Saturday pricing items and boxing everything to take it to Orleans. There are so many boxes that they've overtaking most of our house. So come out both days and buy some stuff. Please! Help me get my house back!

The first weekend in May will be a break for us (finally!) before we get to the event that I'm most excited about: Can Our Yard Night! I honestly cannot wait for this. I've been excited about this since we first heard of the idea, but I don't think I've been excited as some of you have. It's been months since I've gone more than a few days without having someone say how much they're looking forward to trashing our yard. It's got me a little concerned how much some of you are getting in to this. It makes me wonder what kind of terrible things I've been doing to you people that you'd get this excited over dumping trash in my yard!

Regardless, between 6-11 that night, you can dump all the aluminum cans you like into our yard and we'll be glad to take them. We're going to be roping off the area where you can dump them (to keep any from getting to the neighbor's yard), and we'll also have an area where you can pull into the yard and unload. People tend to drive a little too fast on our road, so we'd rather have you drive through the yard and keep everyone safe. I'm sure we'll have more details to fill you in on as the time gets closer.

Other than that, we're still playing the waiting game. Our case worker is expecting to do our home study sometime in May (let's all pray it's not during Can Our Yard Night. She'll think we're slobs!), we're just waiting on some scheduling things at her office to be resolved. The home study is our next step, and waiting for it to be scheduled has been stressful, so I can't imagine what the wait for our child will be like. We're so fortunate that we have those of you who have helped us so much. Whether it's been through your donations, fundraiser help, or prayer, it's uplifted us through this process. Even the times when we've been stressed have been a blessing because we have so many wonderful friends who've chosen to take this journey with us. We're more grateful to you than you could ever know.

See you next week!

Me, My Wife, and Her Boyfriend

       For the past few months, everything has been about our adoption. Whether it’s been our fundraising activities, this blog, etc., it’s all been about the addition to our family. This weekend, however, we had a new addition to our family: Ashley’s boyfriend.

      Ok, maybe I should explain this a little. First of all, I decided to surprise Ashley by taking her to the Reds-Nationals game in Cincinnati on Saturday. She likes the left fielder for the Nationals, Bryce Harper, and had mentioned before that she’d like to see a Nationals game sometime, so I surprised her with tickets to Saturday’s game. After some trouble getting there thanks to some roadwork, (come on Kentucky Dept. of Transportation! Work faster!) we finally arrived at the ballpark. Although we missed his first at bat thanks to a talkative usher, we were in our seats to see his second time at the plate. A 2-run homer later, our family added a new member. Ashley walked in as a casual fan, but by the time that ball finally landed, he was a part of our family. For the rest of the game, I heard how great Bryce Harper was. Whether it was, “My boyfriend will probably hit another homerun this time,” or “they won’t try to run on my boyfriend” when a Reds base runner stopped at third, my afternoon had become a Bryce Harper love-fest. It was pathetic.

     Despite hearing how great he was and, by association, the Nationals were, we had a lot of fun. She had fun telling me how he’s awesome and I had fun laughing at him when he struck out late in the game, all of which made me look forward to having our child. I can’t wait to take our kid to games and try to get him to take my side in these “arguments”. I’ll be trying to convince our child to be a Reds fan and (as long as Bryce Harper is playing) Ashley will be trying to convince him to be a Nationals fan. But that’s the fun stuff. Those times that you get to spend together as a family at the ballpark, or talking trash to mom on the way home; those are the kinds of things I’m looking forward to. It’s those little times that make a family a family.

    So as much as I probably should be distressed by my wife’s new, multi-millionaire boyfriend, I’m not too concerned because it makes me look forward to the fun times we’re going to have with our kid. I’m prepared for her to buy him a tiny Nationals jersey, and I’m ok with that. And I’m going to remind him that we cheer for the Reds and the Red Sox and no one else, but we’ll leave it up to our child and see what he decides. Unless of course he wants to be a Yankee fan. Then he might be moving in with grandma.

Wowzers April!

April is a great month. It's the month of opening day baseball, April Fool's, and showers that bring May flowers. It's really quite awesome. This year though, April is about more than that. We're going to be going non-stop this month in an effort to get some fundraisers finished. So no opening day baseball for us, no April Fool's pranks, and please, please, no showers (at least while we're doing things outside) because this is a work month.

We're not totally busy with adoption stuff. The first weekend in April will be busy, but nice. We're doing some family stuff which will keep us busy, but will be fun. By the time the next weekend rolls around though, it will be time to put on your game faces because we're getting down to business. We're having a yard sale pricing day at our house. We've been planning to have a yard sale as a fundraiser for a long time. Ever since we had that idea, we told people we knew who were having yard sales, "Hey, if you don't want that leftover stuff, we'll take it." While that seemed like a good idea, the yard sale items quickly overtook one bedroom in our house......then another......then a room at my sister's house.......and my mom's house. So on yardsale pricing day, it all comes out to get priced for our first yard sale at the end of the month (more on that later). We're excited to get this going so we can make some money for our adoption fund, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited to get the rest of our house back.

The next weekend, April 20, we're selling concessions at an auction near our house. We did this before and, hopefully, we learned from the mistakes we made last time. For example, we learned last time that people like to drink coffee first thing in the morning. (Who knew?!) Also, we learned that, if you're going to have food in cans, it's a good idea to bring a can opener. Despite a few mistakes, the last auction went great and we hope this one will too. Besides, I don't think we'll make the same mistakes twice. We'll make exciting new mistakes! So mark your calendars for the April 20 auction on Orhcard Rd. in Salem. We'll remind you again closer to the day, but it should be a lot of fun.

Finally, at the end of the month we'll be having our long-awaited yard sale in Orleans. Almost anything you need, we'll be selling. I'd list what we have, but it's probably easier to list what we don't have....puppies. I'm pretty sure anyway that we aren't selling puppies of any kind. Although if our dogs misbehave on pricing day, I can't guarantee you they won't get a pricetag stuck on them. The yard sale will be Friday and Saturday the 26th and 27th in Orleans (we'll have the address for you later) and will be a part of Orleans town wide yard sale day, so if we don't have what you need, someone probably will. But come check with us first, please. We'd appreciate it.

So, other than that, it should be a relaxing month. I'm not complaining though, it's all going to be worth it in the end. As exhausting as it will get, we're excited about all of the action going on this month. The more work we do toward our adoption, the more excited we get. It's going to be a fun few weeks. If you can join us for any of the events or want to help us with pricing, auction food, or working the yardsale, let us know. Regardless though, make plans to come see us on some of those days. We're going to have a lot of fun and look forward to sharing that time with all of you.

 

::Reminder Note::

Don't forget we are also having "Can My Yard Night" on May 10th! So keep saving those cans so you can litter our yard with them!

Loose Screw

     I found a screw loose on a cabinet door the other day. Normally that’s no big deal, but around our house lately, this is a huge deal. This week we made some progress in that we finally got our paperwork sent off to our agency. This was a huge deal for us because after all of the time and effort spent trying to gather information and filling out forms, we were finally finished with this part. The celebration was short-lived though because we realized what came next. Our home study. Nothing has made us more paranoid than this home study mostly because we don’t know what to expect. I mean, are they just going to talk to us and look around the house a little bit? Or are they going through all our drawers and checking the fat content of items in our refrigerator? At this point, I wouldn’t be shocked if our case worker said she needed to get in the crawlspace under the house and start looking for termite damage.

      For the record, our house is fine. I mean, we’re not living in a mansion or anything, but everything seems normal, I suppose. But this home study has me worried beyond belief. Every time I see something that isn’t perfect, every time a door handle jiggles a little too much, a light flickers, or I see a loose screw, I automatically assume that we’re going to fail our home study and never get our kid. (And I’m sure some of you were already thinking I’ve had a few screws loose for years. I get it.)

     In reality, it will probably all be ok. The lady we’re working with from the adoption agency is great and I’m sure she’s not expecting perfection. After all, if they’re only letting perfect people have kids, then we’re all in trouble. I’m sure that all the worrying will be for nothing and that our home study will be fine. Until it’s finished though, we’ll have a few more weeks of being paranoid about everything. So consider this your warning, if you happen to come by our house in the next few weeks, compliment us on how great everything is. If not, be prepared for us to put you to work.

Blegh, Homework

     I have to be honest, I’m worried about this whole adoption thing. Not that I’m concerned about us having a kid or anything. That’s the great part. The part that worries me is what happens a few years from now. School. It scares me to death.

     Now, for the record, I finished elementary school, high school, and college. Graduated from them all and did pretty well, I guess, but that stuff was easy. When my kid goes to school, he’s going to be bringing home homework. And inevitably he’s going to have something he needs help with and who will he go to? One of us. My only hope is that I can find some excuse to leave the room and make Ashley help him. And I don’t care how flimsy of an excuse I can find, if I don’t know the answer, I’m getting out of there. Taking out the trash, walking the dog, moving to Canada…nothing is off the table.

    That seems like an odd thing to worry about, I’m sure, but I just did my first book report in over a decade and it nearly made my head explode. As a part of our adoption paperwork, we had to read a book and fill out a short questionnaire giving our thoughts on the book. Easy enough, right? Wrong. It was awful! I mean, we read the book, we discussed, and did everything the way we were supposed to, but when it came time to write about our thoughts on the book….nothing. Drawing a total blank. I mean, seriously, we make children do this at school?! What’s the matter with these teachers?! This is torture! Maybe it’s just because the last time I finished a book report, Bill Clinton was president, but it was almost painful. I’m fully expecting our agency to think that we paid some 4^th grader to write it for us.

     I’m sure we’re overreacting. I’m sure they’ll read it and think it was all ok, but either way, it’s got me worried. I think I can help our kid through addition and subtraction, but after that I’m in trouble. I guess this is something all parents have to deal with though, because once you stop doing some of that school work you get out of practice quick! Until we get our child home though, we’ll try to make sure we’re academically fit to raise a child. Just in case we’re not though, Ashley’s mom is a 3^rd grade teacher. It’s always good to have a built-in backup plan.