The next thing I would like to add is, if you don't have anything to do on Saturday (other than our yard sale) go to the Campbellsburg community building! A group of women have started a business called "The Market Place" and they have so many amazing decorative things! They are going to be open from 10:00-5:00. This year they will be donating a portion of their proceeds to our adoption fund! It is so great of them and we are very thankful for their generosity! If you would like to check out some of their items, check out their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/CampbellsburgMarketPlace
Ok, Now on to the blog:
In our family, Adam is the creative writer. This is why all but one (now two) blogs have been written by him. With good reason, I ramble on about who knows what!
Before I start my glorious ramblings that I have been holding back for about a month, I would first like to say I am deeply sorry if I offend anyone in the making of this blog. That is not my intent.
At this current moment in time Adam and I are waiting. And waiting. Not yet waiting to be selected by a birth mother, but waiting to schedule our home study to then wait 6-8 weeks to get it done so then we can be on the list to wait some more. This is not the fault of our adoption agency (they are amazing) but the state who is taking their sweet, sweet time to schedule their annual audit. One great thing about the waiting is we are going to be the most patient parents in the world.
While waiting, I have had a lot of time looking up adoption information. As Adam has pointed out before, My name is Ashley Brown and I am addicted to Pinterest. I have become obsessed with watching profile videos and videos of folks stories about meeting their children (most from overseas). Of course all most everyone of them, especially when the little kiddos meet their new families, make me cry. These videos bring me to ramble # 1. Infertility. We have dealt with infertility, sort of. We went to the doctor, they basically said "Good Luck" and we went on our way. In many of these videos there are parents who spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to then either have no luck or have 8 kids and get their own TV show. I have to say I disagree with this. Sometimes people complain and complain about not being able to have "Their Own" kids, then when they finally decide to adopt, it's an attitude like, "well, this is our only hope." I know they don't see it this way, but it seems like they're settling. It makes me think the child will always be 2nd place and never "their own". I have a hard time describing it exactly, so this one might be the silliest rant of all. However, if God brings infertility into your life, embrace it. On our questionnaire, it asked how infertility has affected your marriage. It tears a lot of families apart which is sad. Infertility in our family has made Adam and I closer, so much so. If you want a child, instead of spending the money on a medical procedures and drugs, consider putting it towards your adoption. The way God works through the adoption and through you and your relationship with your family and God is AMAZING.
Ramble #2. I could make this one much shorter. American adoption vs. International adoption? I say who gives a poopy. I had watched a facebook rant the past week, which everyone as knows, facebook rants are AMAZING. This one was from WDRB about a family who adopted two children from Ethiopia (I think that's the right place) with HIV. On this post there were over 100 comments most negative about how these people should have never adopted these kids. I actually have a lot of mini rants from this. 1) For the people who were complaining about how "we'll be paying for these kids with our tax dollars." These children are not going to suckle on the government teat because of their health issues. When adopting children the insurance has to pick them up like there are no pre-existing issues. In order to adopt them in the first place, the parents would have to have proven that they not only had adequate insurance for the children, but the means to take care of all of their needs. There are times we should worry about how our tax dollars are being spent, but this is not one of them. 2) Question: "Isn't overseas adoption easier than adopting in the U.S.?" (another statement that was brought up multiple times) Answer: No. Now, I know I shouldn't speak of international adoption because that's not what we are doing. However, I do know that you still have to have interviews, home studies, a trip, if not multiple trips, overseas, sometimes to places that aren't necessarily the safest places to go. Plus you can't always get health backgrounds or all the medical conditions. So my opinion is they are both hard, exciting, nerve-wracking things, but well worth it. Don't go somewhere just because you think its the easy way. Pick a country that you feel comfortable with. 3) Next comment, "U.S. adoption are horrible. The kids seem to almost always go back to the birth parents." False. Every state is different, but in the great state of Indiana, parents have to sign over their rights soon after the birth. If a birth mother signs over her rights, few, if any, judges will reverse that. It is very rare in Indiana. While I can't speak to many people's experiences with foster care, I know that when an adoption is finalized, that's it. The child isn't taken away without cause after 5 years or more like some people had commented. And the last thing on this facebook story was 4) "It should be USA for USA! Don't adopt overseas, take care of our own!" To this I just shake my head. Adoption is adoption. Who cares where they come from, as long as a child has a good home.
This pretty much brings me to my last annoyimg rambling: Abortion. I know, touchy subject for everyone. I would like to go on the record saying I am COMPLETELY against abortion. I think, as soon as the child is conceived its a baby. Now, however, I look at abortion completely differently than I used to. I see it now as, if these children are born, what is going to happen to them? Pre-adoption, I wasn't as concerned about what happened to the child as long as it wasn't aborted as long as it got to live. Even if the mother didn't want the child, at least it got a chance to live. There are 3,288 (in 2011) abortions every day in the United States. (1.3 million abortions every year.) Let's say they make abortions illegal. That would be a wonderful thing. But now, "adoption Ashley" says "Where the Heck are these kids going to go!?" We would have 1.3 million kids to find homes for. It blows my mind. That's over a million kids who need a forever family. If we are going to be pro-life, we also have to be pro-child.
There are around 147 million orphans in the world. If abortions stop, hopefully soon, that can potentially add another MILLION children to that number. What are we going to do with all these kids?! If the 147 million kids where sick it would be an epidemic and politicians, doctors, world leaders and everyone else would be doing everything in their power to solve it. However, they just don't have families and I guess that's no big deal? It breaks my heart. So this is my call. My call to ask you to help. Not necessarily for us, but someone, someone adopting, a child somewhere, or an agency. I have said this before but 35% of Christians think about adopting. 35% actually sounds like a good number, but only 2% actually adopt. It's really upsetting. We are called to care for the orphans. Now, I am not saying by any means "Yeah everyone go get you a kid!" But I think if God puts something in your head, there is a reason for that. Support Orphanages, Donate, Reach out, SOMETHING! None of us can do everything, but all of us can do something.
And if adopting a child is what you are suppose to do, DO IT! Don't be scared. There are, of course, people who will put it down. People who you would think be so supportive end up tearing you apart and some may even talk about how horrible it is. But the great thing about it is the other people will be there. People will come out of the woodwork to help! People you think would never help, give more than you can ever imagine. People you don't even know. I'm not just talking about money, but support for the bad days and just someone to give you encouragement. And if money is the issue don't let it be. There are so many fundraisers out there! And if not fundraisers, there are grants! I mean, Adam and I are collecting cans! Cans! People's trash is helping us raise money for our child (May 10th by the way).
I cannot say enough how great it is how God does things through adoption. You will hear other folks amazing stories and things seem to fall together so perfectly. Gods timing - PERFECT. When we first started, a lot of people told us "Well I hope you will be able to have 'Your Own' one day". When you adopt, the child is your own. The child we get will be my child. I have never missed or loved someone that I have never met so much. I hurt for this child. For the waiting. Someone we know told us once that they love their biological child, but with their adopted child, the love is just different and powerful. I didn't understand what they meant at first. But now I do. And it's a great feeling.
So like I said before, I am sorry for my ramblings. I hope I didn't offend anyone. That's not what this was about. I just really hope some of you, if you are on the fence about adoption, consider it. There are SO many kids that need a home. And if you don't feel like you are being called to adopt. Help. Help the kids, help the adopting parents, help the agencies. Help someone!
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